Ty Webb: This your place, Carl?
Carl Spackler: Yeah, whatta ya think?
Ty Webb: It's really... awful.
Carl Spackler: Well, I got a lot of stuff on order. You know... credit trouble.

It's amazing how much of my life has been determined by a quarter inch piece of plastic.

Andrew Largeman

Holy shit, a talking beaver!


When did you go through puberty? Like at seven or something?

Mr. Walters

Vizzini: Finish him. Finish him, your way.
Fezzik: Oh good, my way. Thank you Vizzini... what's my way?
Vizzini: Pick up one of those rocks, get behind a boulder, in a few minutes the man in black will come running around the bend, the minute his head is in view, hit it with the rock!!
Fezzik: My way's not very sportsman-like.

Michael: These delusionals are your White Rastas. Uh, they're big Marley fans, they think they're black, semi-political, but mostly...
Cameron: Smoke a lot of weed?

I told you ogres don't live happily ever after!

Fairy Godmother

Sorry I'm late. I was busy having sex. A lot.

Katie Van Waldenberg

Ladies and gentlemen, you are such a wonderful crowd, we'd like to play a little tune for you. It's one of my personal favorites and I'd like to dedicate it to a young man who doesn't think he's seen anything good today - Cameron Frye, this one's for you.

Ferris Bueller

Heywood: Going somewhere, meat?
Willie Mays Hayes: About 90 feet.

Max, can you earmuff for me? We are going to get so much ass here, it's going to be sick. I'm talking like crazy boy band ass.


Holla, City of Squalor!

Mr. Chow

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