Favorite Comedy Quotes
Westley: Oh, what I wouldn't give for a holocaust cloak.
Inigo Montoya: There, we cannot help you.
Fezzik: [pulls out a cloak] Will this do?
Inigo Montoya: Where did you get that?
Fezzik: At Miracle Max's. It fit so nice, he said I could keep it.
Don't mind her. She's still upset because somebody dropped a house on her sister.Otho
There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.Westley
Phil Wenneck: [while driving a squad car on the sidewalk and using the loudspeaker] Ma'am, in the leopard dress, you have an incredible rack.
Phil Wenneck: [to himself] I should have been a fucking cop.
Inigo Montoya: I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?
Westley: Do you always begin conversations this way?
Inigo Montoya: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
Westley: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.
Ian Faith: The Boston gig has been cancelled...
David St. Hubbins: What?
Ian Faith: Yeah. I wouldn't worry about it though, it's not a big college town.
[about Tracy] Her pussy gets so wet you can't believe it.Dave Novotny
I once thought I had mono for an entire year. It turned out I was just really bored.Wayne Campbell
Employee: One Heffer with cheese.
Scarface: You son of a bitch, I'm right behind you! Turn around and ASK me for a Heffer with cheese, yo! Why you gotta make me feel inferior because I'm workin' the grill, B? Damn!
Fuck you hormones!Ben Stone
Bingo! Right in the blowhole!Mr. Wong