Favorite Comedy Quotes
Bobby Boucher: So that's what opening up a can of whoop-ass feels like.
Coach Klein: Son, you just opened up a whole case of whoop-ass.
Buttercup: You mock my pain.
Westley: Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
Brennan Huff: This house is a fucking prison!
Dale Doback: On Planet Bullshit!
Brennan Huff: In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks!
Kenny Fisher: Those shoes!
Kenny Fisher: Do they serve an orthopedic function?
Katy: Hey, Droz, how 'bout this: Tonight, at the Pit, "Everyone Gets Laid."
Droz: It's tasteless, disgusting, and offensive. I love it.
Elwood: I bet these cops got SCMODS.
Elwood: State County Municipal Offender Data System.
David Seville: They're savings bonds. In seven years you will get enough money from them to buy something nice.
Alvin: Do you have any that you bought seven years ago?
Ian Faith: The Boston gig has been cancelled...
David St. Hubbins: What?
Ian Faith: Yeah. I wouldn't worry about it though, it's not a big college town.
I don't believe this! I've got a trig midterm tomorrow, and I'm being chased by Guido, the killer pimp.Miles
Inigo Montoya: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
Westley: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.
Phil Wenneck: [while driving a squad car on the sidewalk and using the loudspeaker] Ma'am, in the leopard dress, you have an incredible rack.
Phil Wenneck: [to himself] I should have been a fucking cop.
Dean Pritchard: Listen, Chang.
Megan Huang: It's Huang.
Dean Pritchard: Whatever.