Favorite Comedy Quotes
Ty Webb: I like you Betty.
Danny Noonan: It's Danny sir.
Ty Webb: Danny.
Harry: I can't believe we drove around all day, and there's not a single job in this town. There is nothing, nada, zip!
Lloyd: Yeah! Unless you wanna work forty hours a week.
Becca Crane: Jacob, run!
[Jacob jumps above Becca and lands in his chihuahua form. Becca disbelievingly]
Becca Crane: A chihuahua?
David Seville: They're savings bonds. In seven years you will get enough money from them to buy something nice.
Alvin: Do you have any that you bought seven years ago?
I'm OK... but I can't say the same for these white devils.Thorny
Well if anyone would know you were pulling your hips out early it'd be Annie.Larry
Harry: Hi, Lloyd.
Lloyd: Hi, Harry.
Harry: How was your day?
Lloyd: Not bad. Fell off the jet way again.
Scott: Look, I was wondering if we could work all this out? You are, after all, my father.
Dr Evil: Scott, you had your chance, okay? I've already had someone created in my image. He's evil, he wants to take over the world, and he fits easily into most overhead storage bins.
Scott: Him? Look at him, he's crazy. He's like a vicious little Chihuahua thing. He'll kill me the first chance he gets.
Dr Evil: Probably.
Virginia: Hey! What's going on?
Happy Gilmore: Oh, uh, I was just looking for the other half of this bottle and there's some of it and there's some of it right there, too.
Virginia: Why don't you just put it down?
Happy Gilmore: Yeah, I know.
Michael Bolton: You think the pet rock was a really great idea?
Tom Smykowski: Sure it was. The guy made a million dollars.
Rasputia: [after seeing Norbit trying to go out, she yells at him] NORBIT!
Norbit: Oh! Rasputia! Good Morning, Rasputia! How are you this morning?
Rasputia: Where the hell you're going?
Norbit: Oh, ummmm... I was just going to Raging Waters.
Jack Sparrow: [Talking about Jack's debt to Jones] You already have my payment. One soul to serve on your ship is already over there.
Davy Jones: One soul is not equal to another.
Jack Sparrow: Ah-ha! So, we've established my proposal as sound in principle. Now, we're just haggling over price.