Favorite Comedy Quotes
Tracy Turnblad: Oh, Link, I wish I had dark skin.
Link Larkin: Tracy, our souls are black, though our skin is white.
Find me that piece of paper I had in my hand yesterday morning.Miranda Priestly
A gun rack... a gun rack. I don't even own *a* gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do... with a gun rack?Wayne Campbell
Are those sad tissues or happy tissues?Kemo
General Aladeen: You're an Apple Genius, so what do you do?
Nadal: Mostly I clean semen out of laptops.
Now really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but showing up uninvited to a wedding?Lord Farquaad
FYI, I have beat wholesale ass for a whole lot less.Tallahassee
Hey, nice marmot!The Dude
Jedadiah: I'm gonna shoot you in your dang eye. In your dadgum eye.
[gun clicks empty]
Larry: Yeah. Keep shootin'. Nothing's gonna happen.
Jedadiah: Now you know my shame. Jedadiah's impotent rage. His guns don't fire. Take me away.
My story starts at sea... a perilous voyage to an unknown land... a shipwreck... the wild waters roar and heave... the brave vessel is dashed all to pieces, and all the helpless souls within her drowned... all save one... a lady... whose soul is greater than the ocean... and her spirit stronger than the sea's embrace... not for her a watery end, but a new life beginning on a stranger shore. It will be a love story... for she will be my heroine for all time. And her name will be Viola.William Shakespeare
This hotel reminds me of a place you'd want to go to get a good ol' fashioned raping or a down-home murder!Deputy Trudy Wiegel
Gusteau: You know what I say. Anyone can cook.
Remy: Yeah, anyone can cook. That doesn't mean anyone should.