Favorite Comedy Quotes
Marianne: There's a higher power that will judge you for your indecency.
Olive Penderghast: Tom Cruise?
Elizabeth Swann: Will! Why is this happening?
Will Turner: I don't know. You look beautiful.
Elizabeth Swann: I think it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding.
I'm OK... but I can't say the same for these white devils.Thorny
Cameron: Well, you don't know. She could, uh, she could need a day to cool off.
[they all duck as a soccer ball flies past them]
Patrick: Maybe two.
Jack Sparrow: [Talking about Jack's debt to Jones] You already have my payment. One soul to serve on your ship is already over there.
Davy Jones: One soul is not equal to another.
Jack Sparrow: Ah-ha! So, we've established my proposal as sound in principle. Now, we're just haggling over price.
Bianca: But she's a mutant! What if she never dates?
Walter Stratford: Then you'll never date. Oh, I like that.
Bianca: [after Kat has told her that she went out with Joey] How is it possible that I did not know about this?
Kat Stratford: I warned him that if he told anyone, the cheerleading squad would find out how tiny his dick is!
Kat Stratford: You're looking at this from entirely the wrong perspective. We're making a statement.
Mandella: Oh goody, something new and different for us!
Joey: Mr. Morgan, is there any chance we could get Kat to take her Midol *before* she comes to class?
Mr. Morgan: Someday, you gonna get bitch-slapped and I'm not gonna do a thing to stop it.
Walter Stratford: My insurance does not cover PMS!
Kat Stratford: Well then, tell them I had a seizure.
Sonny, true love is the greatest thing, in the world - except for a nice MLT - mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe.... mmm... they're so perky, I love that.Miracle Max
There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.Westley