Favorite Comedy Quotes
Walter Stratford: My insurance does not cover PMS!
Kat Stratford: Well then, tell them I had a seizure.
Joey: Mr. Morgan, is there any chance we could get Kat to take her Midol *before* she comes to class?
Mr. Morgan: Someday, you gonna get bitch-slapped and I'm not gonna do a thing to stop it.
Sonny, true love is the greatest thing, in the world - except for a nice MLT - mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe.... mmm... they're so perky, I love that.Miracle Max
Ok, you may have just seen a dude's junk. And he is very sorry.Wallace Wells
There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.Westley
Inigo Montoya: Are you the Miracle Max who worked for the king all those years?
Miracle Max: The King's stinking son fired me, and thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? We're closed.
Dewey Cox: Maybe you don't believe in me at all.
Edith: I do believe in you
Edith: I just know you're gonna fail.
My name is Joel Goodson. I deal in human fulfillment. I grossed over eight thousand dollars in one night. Time of your life, huh kid?Joel Goodson
Prince Humperdinck: Surrender.
Westley: You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.
Bianca: [after Kat has told her that she went out with Joey] How is it possible that I did not know about this?
Kat Stratford: I warned him that if he told anyone, the cheerleading squad would find out how tiny his dick is!
Joel Goodson: Porsche. There is no substitute.
Miles: Fuck you.
James Carter: What are they gonna do to us Li?
Lee: First they will torture us for 3 days.
James Carter: Ok,I can take that.
Lee: Then they will cut off our egg roles.
James Carter: Cut off our egg roles... Aww hell no we gotta get outta here