Favorite Comedy Quotes
You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.Miracle Max
Dean Pritchard: Listen, Chang.
Megan Huang: It's Huang.
Dean Pritchard: Whatever.
Westley: Look. Are you just fiddling around with me or what?
Fezzik: I just want you to feel you're doing well. I hate for people to die embarrassed.
Well, I have all your equipment in my locker. You should probably come get it cause I can't fit my numchucks in there anymore.Napoleon Dynamite
Dewey Cox: Maybe you don't believe in me at all.
Edith: I do believe in you
Edith: I just know you're gonna fail.
I dream of Genie with the light brown hair. Floating like a vapor on the soft summer air. LOOK OUT! Campdown races sing this song doo da doo da...Dr. Pearl
I used to use this gun when I was a prostitute.Red
Igor: You know, I'll never forget my old dad. When these things would happen to him... the things he'd say to me.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What did he say?
Igor: "What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? Why don't you get out of there and give someone else a chance?"
David Seville: They're savings bonds. In seven years you will get enough money from them to buy something nice.
Alvin: Do you have any that you bought seven years ago?
Mrs. Nordberg: Oh, my poor Nordberg! He was such a good man, Frank. He never wanted to hurt anyone. Who would do such a thing?
Frank: It's hard to tell. A gang of thugs, a blackmailer, an angry husband, a gay lover...
Brennan Huff: This house is a fucking prison!
Dale Doback: On Planet Bullshit!
Brennan Huff: In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks!
You must have eaten, like, a hundred bucks worth of pot, and, like, 30 bucks worth of shrooms man!College Kid