Favorite Comedy Quotes
Bluto: What the fuck happened to the Delta I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Bluto, we might get in trouble." Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this. Wormer, he's a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Niedermeyer...
Otter: Dead! Bluto's right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.
Bluto: We're just the guys to do it.
D-Day: Let's do it.
Bluto: LET'S DO IT!
Oh, he's very popular Ed. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude.Grace
[holding the shotgun at his hip, yelling at the target]
Ben: I said get down! You better get on the ground!!
[firing the shotgun sends him flying backwards, landing crumpled up in a bin]
James: Got a little bit of kick to it.
Ben: My stomach in my ass!
James: Oh yeah, you’re ready for the streets.
Iggy: Would you swim in an integrated swimming pool?
Tracy Turnblad: I sure would, Iggy. I'm a modern kind of girl, I'm all for integration.
Hey, Cameron. You realize if we played by the rules right now we'd be in gym?Ferris Bueller
Looks like we're gonna have to make a cameo at the Val party.Cher
Tell him not to jerk off with a noose around his neck - it's dangerous.Jonah
Tom: What's he doin?
Droz: He's finishing his senior thesis. Pigman is trying to prove the Caine-Hackman theory. No matter what time it is, 24 hours a day, you can find a Michael Caine or Gene Hackman movie playing on TV.
Tom: That's his thesis?
Droz: Yes! That's the beauty of college these days, Tommy! You can major in Game Boy if you know how to bullshit.
Thom: Would someone mind telling me where we're going?
Norah: You know how some people like to eat at the same places?
Norah: Well Caroline likes to puke in the same places.
Walter Stratford: My insurance does not cover PMS!
Kat Stratford: Well then, tell them I had a seizure.
Dr. Egon Spengler: I'm worried, Ray. All my readings point to something big on the horizon.
Winston Zeddemore: What do you mean, big?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Well, let's say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. Based on this morning's reading, it would be a Twinkie thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.
Winston Zeddemore: That's a big Twinkie.
I need to be helped. I need you to rub my back, put me in my onesie...whatever you need to do baby, I'm yours!Cedric