Favorite Comedy Quotes
Marianne: There's a higher power that will judge you for your indecency.
Olive Penderghast: Tom Cruise?
You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.Miracle Max
Westley: Look. Are you just fiddling around with me or what?
Fezzik: I just want you to feel you're doing well. I hate for people to die embarrassed.
Dean Pritchard: Listen, Chang.
Megan Huang: It's Huang.
Dean Pritchard: Whatever.
Lester Bangs: That's because we're uncool. And while women will always be a problem for us, most of the great art in the world is about that very same problem. Good-looking people don't have any spine. Their art never lasts. They get the girls, but we're smarter.
William Miller: I can really see that now.
Thom: Would someone mind telling me where we're going?
Norah: You know how some people like to eat at the same places?
Norah: Well Caroline likes to puke in the same places.
Twins, Basil. Twins.Austin Powers
Scott: Look, I was wondering if we could work all this out? You are, after all, my father.
Dr Evil: Scott, you had your chance, okay? I've already had someone created in my image. He's evil, he wants to take over the world, and he fits easily into most overhead storage bins.
Scott: Him? Look at him, he's crazy. He's like a vicious little Chihuahua thing. He'll kill me the first chance he gets.
Dr Evil: Probably.
Dr. Evil: Talk to the hand, 'cause the face don't wanna hear it anymore.
The President: What hand? Talk to your hand?
Dr. Evil: You ain't all that and a bag of potato chips.
The President: What are you talking about?
Dr. Evil: Don't go there, girlfriend.
Shut up, you bastard... who is fat...Austin
Mrs. Nordberg: Oh, my poor Nordberg! He was such a good man, Frank. He never wanted to hurt anyone. Who would do such a thing?
Frank: It's hard to tell. A gang of thugs, a blackmailer, an angry husband, a gay lover...
You must have eaten, like, a hundred bucks worth of pot, and, like, 30 bucks worth of shrooms man!College Kid