Favorite Comedy Quotes
[to his Asian companion] I hear this place is restricted, Wang, so don't tell 'em you're Jewish, okay?Al Czervik
Don't worry, it could be worse - he could be a white guy.Medicine Man
You know what I'd like to do to her? Something I call the Dirty Fozzie.Ted
Inigo Montoya: Are you the Miracle Max who worked for the king all those years?
Miracle Max: The King's stinking son fired me, and thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? We're closed.
Turk Malloy: I don't care if it gets messy.
Virgil Malloy: I'll drive you. We'll get him leaving his barber.
Livingston Dell: And I'll inject him.
Basher Tarr: And I'll find a spot to get rid of the body.
Rusty Ryan: All valid ideas. Great initiative. But...
Danny Ocean: But.
I used to use this gun when I was a prostitute.Red
Bianca: But she's a mutant! What if she never dates?
Walter Stratford: Then you'll never date. Oh, I like that.
Napoleon Dynamite: So, we're pretty much friends by now, right?
Napoleon Dynamite: So, you got my back and everything, right?
Mrs. Nordberg: Oh, my poor Nordberg! He was such a good man, Frank. He never wanted to hurt anyone. Who would do such a thing?
Frank: It's hard to tell. A gang of thugs, a blackmailer, an angry husband, a gay lover...
Igor: You know, I'll never forget my old dad. When these things would happen to him... the things he'd say to me.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What did he say?
Igor: "What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? Why don't you get out of there and give someone else a chance?"
Honey, I am seven fox years old. My father died at seven and a half. I don't want to live in a hole anymore, and I'm going to do something about it.Mr. Fox
[tears into his toast in an animalistic manner]
Come on, Sam. Doctor Manny's got the medicine for your face.'Baby' Brent