Favorite Comedy Quotes
Teddy Cullinane: [broadcasting] I've never seen Crash so angry. And frankly, sports fans, he used a word that's a no-no with umpires.
Millie: [Annie turns off radio] Crash must've called the guy a cocksucker.
Annie: Mmmmm. How romantic.
I once thought I had mono for an entire year. It turned out I was just really bored.Wayne Campbell
Come on, Sam. Doctor Manny's got the medicine for your face.'Baby' Brent
Farva: What's this?
Rabbit: A chamois cloth.
Farva: Ha. Lucky guess. I just lost a buck. To myself.
A drug person can learn to cope with things like seeing their dead grandmother crawling up their leg with a knife in her teeth. But no one should be asked to handle this trip.Raoul Duke
Well if anyone would know you were pulling your hips out early it'd be Annie.Larry
Tyra Banks: Do you know who i am?
Hannah Montana: I know you know who i am.
Scott: Look, I was wondering if we could work all this out? You are, after all, my father.
Dr Evil: Scott, you had your chance, okay? I've already had someone created in my image. He's evil, he wants to take over the world, and he fits easily into most overhead storage bins.
Scott: Him? Look at him, he's crazy. He's like a vicious little Chihuahua thing. He'll kill me the first chance he gets.
Dr Evil: Probably.
The Mayor of Who-ville: I have 96 daughters and 1 son.
Horton: [laughing] Whoa! Busy guy.
[hypnotizing Derek] Hi Derek! My name's Little Cletus and I'm here to tell you a few things about child labor laws, ok? They're silly and outdated. Why back in the 30s, children as young as five could work as they pleased; from textile factories to iron smelts. Yippee! Hurray!Mugatu
I like to think that if you put your trust out there, I mean if you really give people the benefit of the doubt and see their best intentions, people will rise to the occasion.Ned
Seth: I drew dicks.
Evan: Like a man dick?
Seth: Yes, like a man dick.
Evan: That's supergay.