Favorite Comedy Quotes
Geometry Teacher: Tracy Turnblad, once again your ratted hair is preventing another student's geometry education.
Tracy Turnblad: It's feathered, not ratted.
Geometry Teacher: Whatever you call it, it's a hair-don't.
Turk Malloy: I don't care if it gets messy.
Virgil Malloy: I'll drive you. We'll get him leaving his barber.
Livingston Dell: And I'll inject him.
Basher Tarr: And I'll find a spot to get rid of the body.
Rusty Ryan: All valid ideas. Great initiative. But...
Danny Ocean: But.
Bobby Boucher: So that's what opening up a can of whoop-ass feels like.
Coach Klein: Son, you just opened up a whole case of whoop-ass.
Prudence (Laura Dern): You see like a wonderful couple.
Jack Byrnes: No, no, no, we're not homosexual.
Greg Focker: Yeah, no.
Jack Brynes: No, no, no, this is my son in law.
Greg Focker: Yeah no. However, if you're looking to fill a quota, we can be flexible.
Prudence: Okay, that's an interesting joke but I appreciate levity in a moment of misunderstanding so thank you Greg.
Remy: This is me. I think it's apparent that I need to rethink my life a little bit. I can't help myself. I... I like good food, ok? And... good food is... hard for a rat to find!
Django: It wouldn't be so hard to find, if you weren't so picky!
Remy: I don't wanna eat garbage dad!
Michael Bolton: You think the pet rock was a really great idea?
Tom Smykowski: Sure it was. The guy made a million dollars.
Alison Scott: I'm sorry I told you to fuck your bong.
Ben Stone: It's okay... I didn't.
[to Evan] I love you!... I mean, I think we should hang out socially... I have a new ping pong table.Eugene
[Nick, Dale and Kurt are visiting Dave in prison] Hello Nick, guy who saved my life, guy who fucked my wife.Dave Harken
[hypnotizing Derek] Hi Derek! My name's Little Cletus and I'm here to tell you a few things about child labor laws, ok? They're silly and outdated. Why back in the 30s, children as young as five could work as they pleased; from textile factories to iron smelts. Yippee! Hurray!Mugatu
I like to think that if you put your trust out there, I mean if you really give people the benefit of the doubt and see their best intentions, people will rise to the occasion.Ned
Seth: I drew dicks.
Evan: Like a man dick?
Seth: Yes, like a man dick.
Evan: That's supergay.