Officer Michaels: McLovin?
Officer Slater: [pause] That's such a cool name.
Officer Michaels: I know. It sounds like a sexy hamburger.

[signing letter to Sister Encarnacion] Hug hug, kiss kiss, hug hug, big kiss, little hug, kiss kiss, little kiss.

Nacho

Napoleon Dynamite: I like your sleeves. They're real big.
Deb: Thank you. I made them myself.
Napoleon Dynamite: So you and Pedro getting really serious now?

You are here because you some Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus lookin' mother (expletive). You will be going in as undercover high school students.

Captain Dickson

Alison Scott: I'm pregnant.
Ben Stone: With a baby?

You have spilled my macchiato.

Jean Girard

Mr. Zadir: Dooey, did you just grab my ass?
Dooey: Sir, from where I'm standing, that's a physical impossibilty.
Mr. Zadir: Oh, I know your tricks, Dooey!

There's a fly in the ointment. Shit's hittin' the fan. The lion will speak!

Saul Silver

John Beckwith: You better lock it up.
Jeremy Grey: No, you lock it up!
John Beckwith: You lock it up!
Jeremy Grey: You lock it up!
John Beckwith: You lock it up!
Jeremy Grey: Lock it up!

Fogell: Well, when I got there it was either this or Muhammad.
Evan: Why would you even pick Muhammad.
Fogell: For your information, Muhammad is the most commonly used name on the planet.
Evan: Fogell, have you ever even met anyone named Muhammad?
Fogell: Have you ever met anyone named McLovin?
Seth: NO! That's why it's a stupid, made-up, fucking fairy tale name!

I'm assuming you all have guns and crack!

Officer Michaels

Thorny: Now Officer Rabbit and I are going to stand here while the three of you smoke the whole bag.
College Kid: Please, no?

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