Stu Price: She's got my grandmother's Holocaust ring!
Alan Garner: I didn't know they gave out rings at the Holocaust.

Sam: Are you really retarded?
Andrew Largeman: No.
Sam: Ooh, great job man! I really thought you were retarded. I mean, you're better than that Corky kid and he's actually retarded. If there was a retarded Oscar you would win, hands down, kick his ass!

Jeremy Grey: I'm getting married.
John Beckwith: Get out!
[points at the door]
Jeremy Grey: But you just said you were happy...
John Beckwith: I'm hanging by a thread. I'm reading don't-kill-myself books.
Jeremy Grey: You said the book wasn't yours.
John Beckwith: Don't worry about the book. It's not mine. But I glanced at it.
Jeremy Grey: John...
John Beckwith: Kindly leave!
Jeremy Grey: But...
John Beckwith: Kindly leave!

[in Aaron's dream] Look. I'm eating my own head.

Sergio Roma

Chazz Michaels and Jimmy MacElroy *are* figure skating. Boom!

Chazz

Glen the Desk Clerk: Hello, welcome to the International Inn. How many?
Lieutenant Jim Dangle: There's 8 of us...
Glen the Desk Clerk: 8, 8 people for a suckfest
Lieutenant Jim Dangle: No, no suckfest, were here for a convention.
Glen the Desk Clerk: I like convention too. I'm in a convention, a suckfest convention.

Phil Wenneck: Stu, we don't have time for this. Look, let's go hook up with Doug, and we'll deal with the baby later.
Stu Price: Phil, we're not gonna leave a baby in the room, there's a fucking tiger in the bathroom!
Phil Wenneck: It's not our baby.
Alan Garner: Yeah, I gotta side with Stu on this one.

All right, time's up. Time to sit down, buddy.

"Hey Everybody Here's some fun facts The population of Thailand is 63 million people It is twice the size of Wyoming None of you know Stu like I do I can't even tell you what we've been through because we made pact What I can tell you is this. This is not Stu's first marriage There was a whore in Las Vegas a couple of years ..." Phil

Chancho. When you are a man, sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room. It's for fun.

Nacho

Chum: Humans. Think they own everything.
Anchor: Probably American.

Becca Crane: Jacob, why did you just take off your shirt?
Jacob: [Holds up employment contract] My contract says I have to every ten minutes of screen time.

Put your tongue back in your mouth.

Mr. Walters

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