Seth: Hey Greg, why don't you go piss your pants?
Greg the Soccer Player: [turning around] That was like 8 years ago, asshole!
Seth: [yelling] People don't forget!

Tigers love pepper.

Alan Garner

Chazz Michaels and Jimmy MacElroy *are* figure skating. Boom!


Phil Wenneck: Stu, we don't have time for this. Look, let's go hook up with Doug, and we'll deal with the baby later.
Stu Price: Phil, we're not gonna leave a baby in the room, there's a fucking tiger in the bathroom!
Phil Wenneck: It's not our baby.
Alan Garner: Yeah, I gotta side with Stu on this one.

[in Aaron's dream] Look. I'm eating my own head.

Sergio Roma

Glen the Desk Clerk: Hello, welcome to the International Inn. How many?
Lieutenant Jim Dangle: There's 8 of us...
Glen the Desk Clerk: 8, 8 people for a suckfest
Lieutenant Jim Dangle: No, no suckfest, were here for a convention.
Glen the Desk Clerk: I like convention too. I'm in a convention, a suckfest convention.

The good ones screw you, the bad ones screw you, and the rest don't know how to screw you.

Samantha Jones

All right, time's up. Time to sit down, buddy.

"Hey Everybody Here's some fun facts The population of Thailand is 63 million people It is twice the size of Wyoming None of you know Stu like I do I can't even tell you what we've been through because we made pact What I can tell you is this. This is not Stu's first marriage There was a whore in Las Vegas a couple of years ..." Phil

Chancho. When you are a man, sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room. It's for fun.


My victory in Boston was as sweet as the cream pie from the city it's named after.


I was surfing the crimson wave. I had to haul ass to the ladies'.


Chum: Humans. Think they own everything.
Anchor: Probably American.

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