Davy Jones: You are neither dead nor dying. What is your purpose here?
Will Turner: [quickly] Jack Sparrow sent me to settle his debt.
Davy Jones: What is your purpose here?
Will Turner: Jack Sparrow? Sent me to settle his debt?

Mr. Chow: You gonna fuck on me?
Alan Garner: Nobody's gonna fuck on you! I'm on your side! I hate Godzilla! I hate him too! I hate him! He destroys cities! *Please*! This isn't your fault. I'll get you some pants.

Like Pearl Harbor... never again!

Don Ready

Not you, fat Jesus.

Officer Franklin

Ha ha! Drivin' drunk. Classic.

Alan Garner

Mini-me, we do not gnaw on the kitty.

Dr. Evil

The message Hollywood needs to send out is 'Smoking Is Cool!'

Nick Naylor

I'm hung over, my knees are killin' me and if you're going to pull this shit at least you could've said you were from the Yankees.

Jake Taylor

Remember, fans, Tuesday is Die Hard Night. Free admission for anyone who was actually alive the last time the Indians won the pennant.

Harry Doyle

Harry Doyle: That's all we got, one goddamn hit?
Assistant: You can't say goddamn on the air.
Harry Doyle: Don't worry, nobody is listening anyway.

Dr Ray Stantz: Every ancient religion has its own myth about the end of the world.
Winston Zeddemore: Myth? Ray, has it ever occurred to you that maybe the reason we've been so busy lately is because the dead *have* been rising from the grave?
[long pause]
Dr Ray Stantz: [Turns on radio] How 'bout a little music?

Dr Ray Stantz: I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something I loved from my childhood. Something that could never ever possibly destroy us. Mr. Stay Puft!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Nice thinkin', Ray.

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