Favorite Comedy Quotes
[scolding Billy in the hallway] Making fun of a kid for trying to read! Are you psycho? Do you not have a soul?Veronica Vaughn
Austin: Basil, this coffee smells like shit.
Basil: It is shit, Austin.
Austin: Oh, good, then it's not just me.
Like Pearl Harbor... never again!Don Ready
Archie: You are the sexiest, most beautiful girl I have ever seen... in my entire life.
Wanda: Get me my drink.
Today's my cat's birthday.Red
Dr Ray Stantz: Every ancient religion has its own myth about the end of the world.
Winston Zeddemore: Myth? Ray, has it ever occurred to you that maybe the reason we've been so busy lately is because the dead *have* been rising from the grave?
Dr Ray Stantz: [Turns on radio] How 'bout a little music?
Not you, fat Jesus.Officer Franklin
Dana Barrett: That's the bedroom, but nothing ever happened in there.
Dr. Peter Venkman: What a crime.
I've heard of popcorn in the face, but this is ridiculous!Martin Gary
Walter Sobchak: [shouting] Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules? Mark it zero!
The Dude: They're calling the cops, put the piece away.
Walter Sobchak: Mark it zero!
[points gun in Smokey's face]
The Dude: Walter...
Walter Sobchak: [shouting] You think I'm fucking around here? Mark it zero!
Smokey: All right, it's fucking zero. Are you happy, you crazy fuck?
Walter Sobchak: ...It's a league game, Smokey.
[reading personals] "My daddy used to spank my bare bottom. Now he's gone. Will you take his place!?"Miles
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm gonna take back some of the things I said about you, Egon.
[pulls out candy bar]
Dr. Peter Venkman: You... You've earned it