Favorite Comedy Quotes
There were two sides to that billboard, and they both hurt equally.Andy Stitzer
Officer Michaels: How old are you McLovin?
Fogell: Old enough.
Officer Michaels: Old enough for what?
Fogell: To party.
Don't beat yourself up over this, Mitch. It's not your fault. Dammit, Blue was old. That's what old people do. They die.Beanie
Stu Price: Why don't we remember a god damn thing from last night?
Phil Wenneck: Obviously because we had a great fucking tim
Alison Scott: Hey...
Ben Stone: I'm naked.
Alison Scott: Yeah.
Ben Stone: Did we have sex?
Alison Scott: Yes.
Ben Stone: Nice.
A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a Danish.Ty Webb
Hansel: Yeah, you're cool to hide here, but first me and him got to straighten some shit out.
Derek Zoolander: Fine.
Hansel: Why you been acting so messed up towards me?
Derek Zoolander: Why you been acting so messed up towards me?
Hansel: Well, you go first.
You should probably go, Doctor Faggot.Melissa
Elihu, will you come loofah my stretch marks?Mrs. Smails
Ron Burgundy: [riding unicorns through cartoon Pleasure Town] Look, the most glorious rainbow ever.
Veronica Corningstone: Oh. Do me on it.
Ricky Bobby: What has France ever given America, huh?
Jean Girrard: We invented democracy, existentialism , and the MÃ©nage Ã trois.
Cal Naughton Jr: Those are three pretty good things, Ricky. Especially that last one
Woman in Elevator: Oh, how cute! What's his name?
Phil Wenneck: Ben.
Alan Garner: Carlos.