There were two sides to that billboard, and they both hurt equally.

Andy Stitzer

Officer Michaels: How old are you McLovin?
Fogell: Old enough.
Officer Michaels: Old enough for what?
Fogell: To party.

Don't beat yourself up over this, Mitch. It's not your fault. Dammit, Blue was old. That's what old people do. They die.

Beanie

Stu Price: Why don't we remember a god damn thing from last night?
Phil Wenneck: Obviously because we had a great fucking tim

Alison Scott: Hey...
Ben Stone: I'm naked.
Alison Scott: Yeah.
Ben Stone: Did we have sex?
Alison Scott: Yes.
Ben Stone: Nice.

A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a Danish.

Ty Webb

Hansel: Yeah, you're cool to hide here, but first me and him got to straighten some shit out.
Derek Zoolander: Fine.
Hansel: Why you been acting so messed up towards me?
Derek Zoolander: Why you been acting so messed up towards me?
Hansel: Well, you go first.

You should probably go, Doctor Faggot.

Melissa

Elihu, will you come loofah my stretch marks?

Mrs. Smails

Ron Burgundy: [riding unicorns through cartoon Pleasure Town] Look, the most glorious rainbow ever.
Veronica Corningstone: Oh. Do me on it.

Ricky Bobby: What has France ever given America, huh?
Jean Girrard: We invented democracy, existentialism , and the Ménage à trois.
Cal Naughton Jr: Those are three pretty good things, Ricky. Especially that last one

Woman in Elevator: Oh, how cute! What's his name?
Phil Wenneck: Ben.
Alan Garner: Carlos.

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