Favorite Comedy Quotes
Evan: Yeah chicks go nuts for that... the male camel toe.
Seth: Yea yea! The camel tail.
Bruce: How do you make so many people love you without affecting Free Will?
God: [snorts] Heh, welcome to my world, son. If you come up with an answer to that one, let me know.
This is a... fuck!Samir
Patrick: Well maybe you're not afraid of me but I'm sure you've thought about me naked, huh?
Kat Stratford: [sarcastically] Am I that transparent? I want you, I *need* you, oh baby, oh baby.
I really thought that was going to explode.Schmidt
Michael: Alright. Uh, I talked to her; I got the scoop.
Cameron: What'd she say?
Michael: "Hates him with the fire of a thousand suns." That's a direct quote.
Patrick: Thanks Michael. That's very comforting of you.
Peter Gibbons: What if we're still doin' this when we're 50?
Samir: It would be nice to have that kind of job security.
Peter Gibbons: Lumbergh's gonna have me work on Saturday. I can tell already. I'm gonna end up doin' it, because, uh... because I'm a big pussy... which is why I work at Initech to begin with.
Michael Bolton: Uh, yeah, well, I work at Initech and I don't consider myself a pussy, OK?
Samir: Yes, I am also not a pussy.
Becca: [drunkenly making out with Evan] I *so* flirt with you in math.
Evan: Tell me about it. I - same-sies.
This one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy.Michelle
Banned for life. Wow! That's a long time.Darren MacElroy
That's for calling me crap you fatty!Felicity Shagwell
Lloyd: Why you going to the airport? Flying somewhere?
Mary: How'd you guess?
Lloyd: I saw your luggage. Then when I noticed the airline ticket, I put 2 and 2 together.