Favorite Comedy Quotes
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What knockers.
Inga: Oh, thank you doctor.
Food always comes to those who love to cook.Gusteau
Austin Powers: [holding Scott hostage] It seems the tables have turned again, Dr. Evil.
Dr. Evil: Not really. Kill the little bastard, see if I care.
Scott Evil: But dad, we just had a breakthrough in group.
Dr. Evil: I had the group LIQUIDATED, you little shit! They were insolent!
Board Member 1: I've never heard of half of these guys and the ones I do know are way past their prime.
Charlie Donovan: Most of these guys never had a prime.
Board Member 2: This guy here is dead.
Rachel Phelps: Cross him off then.
Lacey Underall: I bet you've got a lot of nice ties.
Ty Webb: How do you mean?
Lacey Underall: Would you like to tie me up with some of your ties, Ty?
I wish I'd just gotten a Teddy Ruxpin!John
Grace: Oh, Ed. You just sounded like Dirty Harry just then.
Ed Rooney: Really? Thanks, Grace.
I'm sorry, was the fight over?Lucy
Bender: Remember how you said your parents use you to get back at each other? Claire Standish: [nods]
Bender: Wouldn't I be OUTSTANDING in that capacity?
Austin: [a guard falls into the lava] What a... burn? [laughs]
That sort of thing could get a man... fired? [laughs] I think he was... hot... for... you? [laughs]
Felicity Shagwell: That's enough.
Who wants to have a pillow fight?Michael Newman
Were these magic grits? Did you get these grits from the same guy who sold Jack his bean stalk beans?Vinny Gambini