Favorite Comedy Quotes
[to Shrek as the ship leaves] Well my friend, you are royally...Puss in Boots
Lower my voice.Matt Gadman
I'm sorry, was the fight over?Lucy
Joel Goodson: When it came right down to it, I just wasn't attracted to her.
Miles: That should never stop you.
Westley: You've done nothing but sword-play?
Inigo Montoya: More pursue than study lately. You see, I cannot find him... it's been 20 years now and I'm starting to lose confidence. I just work for Vizzini to pay the bills. There's not a lot of money in revenge.
Westley: Why can't I move? Why am I up against this wall?
Fezzik: You've been mostly dead all day!
Peter Gibbons: Before we go any further, all right, we have to swear to God, Allah, that nobody knows about this, all right? No family members, no girlfriends, nobody.
Samir: Of course.
Michael Bolton: Agreed.
Lawrence: [through the wall] Don't worry man. I won't tell anyone either!
Michael Bolton: Who the fuck is that?
Peter Gibbons: Oh, don't worry about him. He's cool.
Miles Logan: Yo tengo el gato los pantalones.
Carlson: You just said you have a cat in your pants.
Ludwig: So they were able to get him to the hospital in time?
Frank: Yes, he's in the intensive care ward at Our Lady of the Worthless Miracle.
Bill: I'm Bill S. Preston, Esquire!
Ted: And I'm Ted "Theodore" Logan!
Bill, Ted: And we are... WYLD STALLYNS!
Kumar Patel: In eight hours we are going to be in Amersterdam.
Harold Lee: This is amazing.
Kumar Patel: I know dude, it's going to be exactly like Eurotrip except its not going to suck.
Samir: You know what I would do if I had a million dollars? I would invest half of it in glorious mutual funds and take the other half over to my friend Asadulah who works in securities and-
Michael Bolton: Samir, you're missing the point. The point is you're supposed to work out what you
[printer starts beeping]
Michael Bolton: "PC Load Letter" !? What the fuck does that mean?