Favorite Comedy Quotes
Banned for life. Wow! That's a long time.Darren MacElroy
Kelly: Hey, you know who's got the killer bud?
Kelly: This fucker right here.
Deputy Travis Junior: I just had the weirdest dream
Lieutenant Jim Dangle: You know you're driving, right?
[hits a porto-potty]
Lieutenant Jim Dangle: [looking back] Noone was in it.
I'm one stomach flu away from reaching my goal weight.Emily
Okay, so you're probably going, "Is this like a Noxzema commercial or what?" But seriously, I actually have a way normal life for a teenage girl.Cher
Craig Jones: [points across the street to Mrs. Parker] Look, look, she's bendin' over!
Pastor Clever: Lord have mercy! God is my shepherd, and he knows what I want!
Pastor Clever: [running across the street] Excuse me, Mrs. Parker? Mrs. Parker!
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What knockers.
Inga: Oh, thank you doctor.
Vanessa Kensington: Do you smoke after sex?
Austin: I don't know, baby, I never looked.
Come on Dorn, get in front of the damn ball! Don't give me this "olÃ©" bullshit!Lou Brown
Miles Logan: Yo tengo el gato los pantalones.
Carlson: You just said you have a cat in your pants.
Red: [after having his necklace snatched by Deebo] Hey, man, why didn't y'all help me!
Smokey: [slouching in his chair] Man, I'm high.
Red: Man, that's fucked up. If it was y'all, I would've helped y'all.
Craig Jones: What about the time he tried to choke me in Smoke's backyard?
Red: [pause, thinks about it] Oh, that was different.
[to Mini Me] I'm bigger than you and higher up the food chain. Get in my belly.Fat Bastard