Favorite Comedy Quotes
Westley: Why can't I move? Why am I up against this wall?
Fezzik: You've been mostly dead all day!
Nacho: [after lifting Esqueleto over the wall at Ramses party] What about me?
Esqueleto: I don't think I can lift you. You are too fat.
[to Shrek as the ship leaves] Well my friend, you are royally...Puss in Boots
Come on Dorn, get in front of the damn ball! Don't give me this "olÃ©" bullshit!Lou Brown
Norbit! Why you run like little bitch?Mr. Wong
Janine Melnitz: You're very handy, I can tell. I bet you like to read a lot, too.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Print is dead.
Janine Melnitz: Oh, that's very fascinating to me. I read a lot myself. Some people think I'm too intellectual but I think it's a fabulous way to spend your spare time. I also play raquetball. Do you have any hobbies?
Dr. Egon Spengler: I collect spores, molds, and fungus.
Frank: Good night Dwayne.
Dwayne: [scribbles on notepad] Don't kill yourself tonight.
Frank: Not on your watch Dwayne. I wouldn't do that to you.
Dwayne: [on notepad] Welcome to hell.
Frank: Thanks Dwayne. Coming from you that means a lot.
Westley: You've done nothing but sword-play?
Inigo Montoya: More pursue than study lately. You see, I cannot find him... it's been 20 years now and I'm starting to lose confidence. I just work for Vizzini to pay the bills. There's not a lot of money in revenge.
Janine Melnitz: Do you believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness monster and the theory of Atlantis?
Winston Zeddemore: Ah, if there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say.
[to Mini Me] I'm bigger than you and higher up the food chain. Get in my belly.Fat Bastard
Well, Dude, we just don't know.Brandt
Do you stand for *goodness*, or - for *badness*?Judge Smails