Favorite Comedy Quotes
While we're young.Al Czervik
Food always comes to those who love to cook.Gusteau
Do me a favor, will you? Would you mind washing off that perfume before you come back to our table?Ernie McCracken
Droz: Want some advice?
Tom: Well, yeah.
Droz: Well, here's all you need to know. Classes: nothing before 11. Beer: it's your best friend, you drink a lot. Women? You're a freshman, so it's pretty much out of the question. Will you have a car?
Tom: Uh, no.
Droz: Someone on your floor will. Find them and make friends with them on the first day.
Ok, now it's true, the majority of students today are so cravenly PC, they wouldn't know a good time if it was sitting on their face, but there's one thing that will always unite us and them. They're young. They may not realize it yet. They've got the same raging hormones, the same self-destructive desire to get boldly trashed and wildly out of control. Look out that window! That's not a protest! That is cry for help! They're begging us...Droz
Who wants to have a pillow fight?Michael Newman
Richard Vernon: What was that ruckus?
Andrew Clark: Uh, what ruckus?
Richard Vernon: I was just in my office and I heard a ruckus.
Brian Johnson: Could you describe the ruckus, sir?
Nacho: [after lifting Esqueleto over the wall at Ramses party] What about me?
Esqueleto: I don't think I can lift you. You are too fat.
It is not often someone comes along that's a true friend and good writer. Charlotte was both.Narrator
Grace: Oh, Ed. You just sounded like Dirty Harry just then.
Ed Rooney: Really? Thanks, Grace.
Willenholly: Oh my God. I'm paralyzed! That monkey shot me in the ass and paralyzed me! Oh sweet irony!
Justice: You're not paralyzed. It was just a tranquilizer.
Lani Aliikai: Oh, crap!
[runs out to save drowning penguin]
Cody Maverick: Oh man, I'm in love.
Chicken Joe: You should go talk to her.
Cody Maverick: No way, man!
Chicken Joe: Dude, she's totally into you! She called you crap!