Favorite Comedy Quotes
Well, there's something you don't see every day.Dr. Peter Venkman
Shane Oman: Why are you eating a Kalteen bar?
Regina: I'm starving.
Shane Oman: Man, I hate those things. Coach Carr makes us eat those when we want to move up a weight class.
Shane Oman: They make you gain weight like crazy.
Regina: Motherf... Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Incredible! One of the worst performances of my career and they never doubted it for a second.Ferris Bueller
Jean Girard: You taste like America.
Ricky Bobby: Thank you.
Danny Noonan: I gotta go to college.
Ty Webb: You don't have to go to college. This isn't Russia. Is this Russia? This isn't Russia.
Lloyd: I'm only human, Harry! Come on! Stop being a baby. So we backtracked a tad!
Harry: A tad? A tad, Lloyd? You drove almost a sixth of the way across the country in the wrong direction! Now we don't have enough money to get to Aspen, we don't have enough money to get home, we don't have enough money to eat, we don't have enough money to sleep!
Lloyd: Well, it's not gonna do us any good sitting here whining about it. We're in a hole. We're just going to have to dig ourselves out.
Lacey Underall: Who's you decorator? Bennihana?
Ty Webb: No, I brought most of that stuff back with me from Vietnam.
Lacey Underall: You were in the war?
Ty Webb: [limps and pats his butt] No... Homo.
[yells] Yooooooooow, Kelly Clarkson!Andy Stitzer
Virginia: I thought we were just going to be friends.
Happy Gilmore: What? Friends don't listen to Endless Love in the dark.
Kurt: Your boss is incredibly hot.
Dale: Don't talk about how hot she is.
Kurt: She makes herself a little snack. A popsicle. A banana. And finally, a hot dog. And eating them in that weird order thats not a proper meal.
Nick: It's cold to hot.
I bring iPod back from America and I get my neighbor iPod mini... because it is for girls!Borat
God is a mean kid sitting on an anthill with a magnifying glass, and I'm the ant. He could fix my life in five minutes if He wanted to, but he'd rather burn off my feelers and watch me squirm.Bruce