Favorite Comedy Quotes
What in the world?Pageant Official Jenkins
Chon Wang: What happened my horse? Is he dead?
Roy O'Bannon: No, but we are, Chon.
Steve Stifler: You actually said that?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Shut up!
Jim: You did better than me, Nova.
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Don't call me that any more. I'm a fraud.
You got knocked the fuck out... gimme my goddamn money... yeah payback's a motherfucker, Nigga.Smokey
[drunk. Leans in close to Patrick] Hey... your eyes have a little green in them.Kat Stratford
[Patrick smiles momentarily, then Kat vomits at his feet]
Rick Vaughn: Fuck you.
Roger Dorn: What's the matter, rookie Fuck-Wad? Can't you take a little joke?
Rick Vaughn: Real fucking funny, asshole.
Lou Brown: All right, all right. Knock that shit off.
Roger Dorn: Lou, you better make it real clear to this little lady that I'm not about to take his shit.
Lou Brown: Shut up, Dorn.
Boy, the superintendent's gonna be pissed!Louis
My dream was to help my hometown, a small island hidden under the A in Atlantic, called Swallow Falls. We were one of the leading exporters of sardines, until the day Baby Brent Sardine cannery closed when everyone realized that sardines... are super gross. So everyone was stuck eating all the sardines that nobody wanted. Frozen, boiled, dried, fried, candied and juiced. Life was gray and flavorless, but when things seem hopeless, I stared down at defeat, and found hope.Flint Lockwood
First I get my name in the phone book and now I'm on your ass. You know, I'll bet more people see that than the phone book.Navin Johnson
Rick: How about her?
Coakley: No, the tall blonde surrounds herself with a less attractive women to make herself look good.
Coakley: [as he moves his hands] Check this out. Hot, not.
Rick: That's awesome. You're like A Beautiful Mind.
Dr Ray Stantz: Where do these stairs go?
Dr. Peter Venkman: They go up.
Do ya have ta call me fat? I tried going on a diet you know. The Zone, ya know, "Carbs are the enemy," eh?Fat Bastard