Favorite Comedy Quotes
Austin: How does that feel, baby?
Felicity Shagwell: Mmm, lower.
Austin: [deep voice] How does that feel, baby?
Dr. Evil: You see, I've turned the moon into what I like to call a "Death Star."
Dr. Evil: What?
Scott: Oh, nothing, Darth.
Dr. Evil: What did you call me?
Scott: [pretends to sneeze] Ripoff.
Dr. Evil: Bless you.
Aldous Snow: We're gonna fuck these two girls.
Aaron Green: I just got out of a relationship.
Aldous Snow: Was your ex a blonde or brunette?
Aaron Green: Brunette.
Aldous Snow: Blonde it is.
Greg, honey, is it supposed to be this soft?Babs
Aaron Green: If the party sucked, just say it. You don't have to lie.
Matty: You missed an awesome party.
[to Felicity Shagwell] Would you like to have another go? 'Cause once you've had fat, you never go back.Fat Bastard
So how does it happen, great love? Nobody knows... but what I can tell you is that it happens in the blink of an eye. One moment you're enjoying your life, and the next you're wondering how you ever lived without them.Hitch
Come here, little one. Poppy wants to see you.Papa Elf
He's an angry elf!Buddy
People want me to do everything for them. What they don't realize is that they have the power. You want to see a miracle? Be the miracle.God
Ace Ventura: Holy testicle Tuesday.
Lois Einhorn: What the hell is he doing here?
Ace Ventura: I came to confess. I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll.
I don't have to run away and live in the street. I can run away and I can go to the ocean, I can go to the country, I can go to the mountains. I could go to Israel, Africa, Afghanistan.Allison Reynolds