Favorite Comedy Quotes
Tank Evans: I'm gonna chum the water with your head!
Cody Maverick: Bring it on, pecker face!
Tank Evans: Pecker face?
King: [Donkey sits at the table] No, no! Bad donkey! Bad, bad donkey!
Princess Fiona: It's okay, dad. He's with us. He helped rescue me from the tower.
Donkey: Yup, that's me, the noble steed. Hey waiter! How 'bout a bowl for the steed?
We're the 3 best friends that anybody could have.Alan [singing]
We're the 3 best friends that anyone could have, we're the 3 best friends that anyone can have and we'll never never ever ever ever leave each other."
"Due to our tight fiscal situation, we regret to inform you we are still going to have to close your station. Good luck in Sherbune, John. And give your men my best. Sincerely, Governor Fuckhead."Captain O'Hagan
Willy: Children, do you wanna know what makes all my candy taste so special?
Willy: It's a special secret ingredient. It's real human parts. There's gonna be a little itty bitty piece of each and every one of you inside of the yummy yum candy, literally.
Valerie: Humper-dinck! Humperdinck! Humperdinck! Humperdinck!
Miracle Max: Get back, witch.
Valerie: I'm not a witch, I'm your wife. But after what you just said, I'm not even sure I want to be that any more.
Rick: How about her?
Coakley: No, the tall blonde surrounds herself with a less attractive women to make herself look good.
Coakley: [as he moves his hands] Check this out. Hot, not.
Rick: That's awesome. You're like A Beautiful Mind.
James Carter: Hey Lee! What are you doing?
James Carter: Dancing! Man, im up here working, putting my life on the line, and you up here messing around, dancing with some Bimbo... Does she have a friend?
Kenny: What do you mean comin' up in my place and embarrassin' me in front of my wife, my child and my friends.
James Carter: You embarassin' yourself, man, you're a black man with a Chinese restaurant on Crenshaw.
I have a dream - that white people and black people... And Chinese people can gamble together with the same amount of chips.James Carter
You think you're going to create a T-shirt company? You can't even dress yourself!Shaun
Thorny: Where are your shoes?
Foster: What are you, the shoe police now?
Thorny: I am, and you owe me 20 laps around the bar.
Foster: Black magic only works on the rookie.
Thorny: That's brown magic.