Favorite Comedy Quotes
I'm being spontaneous!Mumble
Jay: So why the long face, Horse? Banky on the rag?
Holden: I'm just, ahh... just havin' a little girl trouble.
Jay: Bitch pressin' charges? I get that a lot.
Tank Evans: I'm gonna chum the water with your head!
Cody Maverick: Bring it on, pecker face!
Tank Evans: Pecker face?
Boy, the superintendent's gonna be pissed!Louis
Claire Cleary: Are you OK?
John Beckwith: Yeah, I'm just swinging the jib for your dad, starboard.
Claire Cleary: But starboard's *this* way.
John Beckwith: That's right. What am I thinking? I'm used to sailing down under with the kiwis so everything's backwards and the toilets when you flush them, the water spins the opposite way. Really freaks you out the first time you see it.
Dr. Peter Venkman: To our first costumer.
Dr Ray Stantz: To our *first* and *only* costumer.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm gonna need to draw some petty cash. I should take her out to dinner. We don't wanna lose her.
Dr Ray Stantz: Uhhh... this magnificent feast here represents the *last* of the petty cash.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Slow down. Chew your food.
Ty Webb: Guys, don't include me in this.
Al Czervik: Come on, Ty, you're an ace. Everybody knows it.
Ty Webb: I don't play golf, for money, against people.
Al Czervik: What are you, religious or something?
Ty Webb: You might say that.
Not at the table, Jose!Alan Garner
You better not cut my head off!Chazz
Who does shit like that?Mike Tyson
Isabel Bigelow: Guess what? I'm a witch!
Jack Wyatt: Guess what? I'm a Clippers fan!
Cody Maverick: Good ol' Shiverpool.
[makes fart noise]
Cody Maverick: Heh-heh. This place sucks, bro.