Favorite Comedy Quotes
A toast before we go into battle. True love. In whatever shape or form it may come. May we all in our dotage be proud to say, "I was adored once too."Gareth
That's the best part about the Jeffrey. It goes away and then it comes back.Jonathan Snow
Gary: Richard did not kick my ass, what Richard did was attack me while I was half asleep.
Brooke: Really? Is that how you see it?
Bianca: There's a difference between like and love. Because, I like my Skechers, but I love my Prada backpack.
Chastity: But I love my Skechers.
Bianca: That's because you don't have a Prada backpack.
Dr Ray Stantz: This is a major disgrace. Forget MIT or Stanford now. They wouldn't touch us with a 10-meter cattle prod.
Dr. Peter Venkman: You're always so concerned about your reputation. Einstein did his best stuff when he was working as a patent clerk!
Dr Ray Stantz: Do you know how much a patent clerk earns?
Dr. Peter Venkman: No!
Mary Jane Potman: My father's a drug dealer.
Thurgood Jenkins: Wow, that must've been the shit.
Mary Jane Potman: It ruined his life.
Thurgood Jenkins: That must've been shitty.
Daddy's a litigator. Those are the scariest kind of lawyer. Even Lucy, our maid, is terrified of him. And daddy's so good he gets $500 an hour to fight with people. But he fights with me for free because I'm his daughter.Cher
Gayle Sweeny: Did Wheeler ever expose himself to you?
Ronnie: Hell, no!
Fritz: Look, honey, Italian food!
Petunia: I WANTED A SLOPPY JOE!
Saul: Man, why'd we have to go to the woods?
Dale Denton: Well you didn't come up with any ideas!
Saul: Yeah, I came up with two! Nowhere and Quizno's.
By the power of Greyskull!Danny Butterman
[rapping] You might be a king or a little street sweeper, but sooner or later you'll dance with the reaper.Grim Reaper