Favorite Comedy Quotes
Maury Ballstein: The designer's got your nuts in a vice! He's offering you three percent for every pair of underwear sold! WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO!
Kids: Screw Him! Hold out for more!
Columbus: Don't be afraid to use your ammunition, that lady should have, would have, could have, saved herself. Rule number 4: Double Tap.
Derek Zoolander: But why male models?
J.P. Prewitt: Are you serious? I just told you.
Barry: I wanna date a musician.
Rob Gordon: I wanna live with a musician. She'd write songs at home and ask me what I thought of them, and maybe even include one of our little private jokes in the liner notes.
Barry: Maybe a little picture of me in the liner notes.
Dick: Just in the background somewhere.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Oh, my *God*. Look at all the junk food!
Dana Barrett: Oh, dammit. Look, this wasn't here...
Dr. Peter Venkman: You actually eat this?
Dana Barrett: Look, this wasn't here! There was *nothing* here! There was this... space! And there was a building or something with flames coming out of it, and there were creatures writhing around, and they were growling and snarling. And there were flames, and I heard a voice say "Zuul"! It was right here.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Well, I'm sorry, I'm just not getting any reading.
Dana Barrett: Well, are you sure you're using that thing correctly?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Well, I... I think so, but I'm sure there are no animals in there.
Dana Barrett: Well that's just great. Either I have a monster in my kitchen or I'm completely crazy.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [smiles] I don't think you're crazy.
Dana Barrett: [sarcastically] Oh, good, that makes me feel so much better.
Richard: [as he rolls up the sheet that covered Grandpa and packs the bags in the trunk of the bus] You know, Olive, Grandpa would have been proud of you today.
Sheryl: You were great.
Frank: You were better than great.
Dwayne: You were incredible.
Paulie Bleeker is about as good as it gets when it comes to boyfriends.Juno MacGuff
You tell him that you loved African Child.Sergio Roma
Evan: Yeah chicks go nuts for that... the male camel toe.
Seth: Yea yea! The camel tail.
Janine Melnitz: You are so kind to take care of that man. You know, you're a real humanitarian.
Dr. Egon Spengler: I don't think he's human.
My brother was the big egg, I was the little egg.Cody Maverick
You changed my life. You changed my life, and I've known you four days. This is the start of something really big, but right now, I gotta go.Andrew Largeman