Favorite Comedy Quotes
Annie: What kind of a name is 'Stove' anyway? What're you a kitchen Flight Attendant: No. My name is Steve and I'm a man
Annie: You are a flight attendant.
H.I., you're young and you got your health, what you want with a job?Evelle
Tommy Likey! Tommy want wing-ey!Tommy
Mary Jane Potman: My father's a drug dealer.
Thurgood Jenkins: Wow, that must've been the shit.
Mary Jane Potman: It ruined his life.
Thurgood Jenkins: That must've been shitty.
Fletcher: Are you marrying this guy because you're mad at me?
Audrey: No - I divorced you because I was mad at you.
God, why do you hate me?Bruce
How could this have happened? A miracle, in a time when we don't see many miraculious things!Homer Zuckerman
Fritz: Look, honey, Italian food!
Petunia: I WANTED A SLOPPY JOE!
My brother was the big egg, I was the little egg.Cody Maverick
[during earthquake] FUCK ME!Ben Stone
The baby is a man magnet.BrÃ¼no
Sugar: Been waiting long?
Junior: [gallantly] It's not how long you wait, it's who you're waiting for!