Favorite Comedy Quotes
You more shredded than a Julian salad, man.Kirk Lazarus
You're a lot of woman, you know that? Yeah, wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?Al Czervik
You're not, you're not good, Al. You stink.Ty Webb
I'm sorry, Bruce. These boys get that syrup in 'em, they get all antsy in their pantsy.Captain O'Hagan
Lloyd: I'll bet you twenty dollars I can get you gambling before the day is out!
Lloyd: I'll give you three to one odds.
Lloyd: Five to one.
Lloyd: Ten to one?
Harry: You're on!
Lloyd: I'm gonna get ya!
Harry: Nu uh!
Lloyd: I don't know how but I'm gonna get ya.
Hedley Lamarr: My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
Taggart: God darnit, Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.
We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all.Andrew
Jake Taylor: That ball wouldn't have been out of a lot of parks.
Rick Vaughn: Name one.
Jake Taylor: Yellowstone?
Harry: I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.
Lloyd: I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver's full of shit, man.
I was told that I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume from 9-11, I told bill that if Sandra is going to listen to her headphones while she's filing then I should be able to listen to the radio while I'm collating so I don't see why I should have to turn down the radio because I enjoy listening at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven.Milton Waddams
Back the fuck up Antonio! My dick!Barry Badrinath
Prince Humperdinck: I think your bluffing.
Westley: It's possible, Pig, I might be bluffing. It's conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again... perhaps I have the strength after all.