How about that? It's a Mexican standoff. Only we ain't got no Mexicans.

Marshal Nathan Van Cleef

Bender: You load up, you party?
Brian Johnson: Uhh, no, actually, we dress up.

[on parenting] It's like your Aunt Edna's ass. It goes on forever and it's just as frightening.


Terry: All you ever talk about is becoming a pro hockey player, but there's a problem: you're not any good.
Happy Gilmore: I am good. You know what, you're a lousy kindergarten teacher. I've seen those finger-paintings you bring home and they SUCK.

You put the weed in the coconut, and light that shit up.


Dale Doback: I manage a baseball team.
Nancy Huff: Oh, little league?
Dale Doback: Fantasy league.

Sophomore dies in kiln explosion? Oh My God! I just talked to her last week... She was going to make a pot for me.

Eric 'Otter' Stratton

I'm going to suck your dick like I'm mad at it.

Elizabeth Halsey

Stan: Hey, guys. Do you know where I can find the clitoris?
Kyle: The what?
Cartman: What, is that like finding Jesus or something?

Westley: I mean, if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something.
Inigo Montoya: Where we did we put that wheelbarrow the albino had?
Fezzik: Over the albino, I think.
Westley: Well, why didn't you list that among our assets in the first place?

Don't you point those dirty, green sausages at me!

Fairy Godmother

Saul Silver: What's up with the suit?
Dale Denton: Oh, I'm a process server, so I have to wear a suit.
Saul Silver: Wow, you're a servant? Like a butler? A chauffeur?
Dale Denton: No, no. What? No, I'm not like..
Saul Silver: Shine shoes?
Dale Denton: I'm a "process server!"

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