Favorite Comedy Quotes
By Grabthar's hammer, by the sons of Worvan, you shall be avenged.Sir Alexander Dane
Death is but a doorway, time is but a window, I'll be back.Vigo
Hanging Lady: Nervous?
Ted Striker: Yes.
Hanging Lady: First time?
Ted Striker: No, I've been nervous lots of times.
Pat Healy: What the hell is Brett Favre doing here?
Brett Favre: I'm in town to play the Dolphins, you dumbass.
Man that ball got outta here in a hurry. I mean anything travels that far oughta have a damn stewardess on it, don't you think?Crash Davis
I always tell the girls, never take it seriously, if ya never take it seriosuly, ya never get hurt, ya never get hurt, ya always have fun, and if you ever get lonely, just go to the record store and visit your friends.Penny Lane
Heather Duke: Veronica, you look like hell.
Veronica Sawyer: Yeah? I just got back.
Hitch: [talking about when kissing going 90 per cent then he goes 10] All right show me the magic.
[going to kiss Hitch]
Hitch: [after being kissed] What the hell?
Albert: Well, you said show me the magic
Hitch: Yeah, but you go 90 then I go 10. You don't go the whole hundred, you over-eager son of a... BLECH!
The doctor said I need a backiotomy!Sir-Smoke-Alot
Thurgood Jenkins: Yeah, get me a box of condoms, and, what was that thing we used to eat back in the day? What was it... oh yeah, pussy.
Kenny: You got it.
Gwen: What was that girl, a freshman?
Van Wilder: She reads at a sophomore level.
Don't mess with the bull, young man. You'll get the horns.Richard Vernon