You know, the root of the word Miller is a Greek word. Miller come from the Greek word "milo," which is mean "apple," so there you go. As many of you know, our name, Portokalos, is come from the Greek word "portokali," which mean "orange." So, okay? Here tonight, we have, ah, apple and orange. We all different, but in the end ... we all fruit.

Gus Portokalos

Amber: Ms. Stoeger, my plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.
Dionne: Well, there goes your social life.

[on parenting] It's like your Aunt Edna's ass. It goes on forever and it's just as frightening.

Frank

"We made a pact, Wolfpack only."

Alan [to Teddy]

[the videotape of Shannon back-dooring Trica is playing on the big screen, with cheesy 70s porno music in background]
Shannon Hamilton: Yeah, who's your favourite New Kid. Yeah, call me Joey. Oh, come on. Don't make me get loose. Yeah, that's right. Call me Donnie. Oh, girl. Oh, please don't go girl.
Jay: Goddamn. This is one wacky game show.
Brodie: [to the cops] Hey! That girl's only 15!
[cops focus their attention on Shannon]
Shannon Hamilton: Ah, 15. I thought she was 36!
[cops are approaching him]
Shannon Hamilton: Come on, guys. Tell me you wouldn't have popped her.

Chicks cannot hold their smoke, dat's what it is.

Brian Johnson

[dumping out cold fries] I shall serve no fries before their time.

Brad Hamilton

I always tell the girls, never take it seriously, if ya never take it seriosuly, ya never get hurt, ya never get hurt, ya always have fun, and if you ever get lonely, just go to the record store and visit your friends.

Penny Lane

ORV. Bullet holes. Bullet holes?

Chunk

Schmidt: Listen, Mr. Walters, I should apologize…
Mr. Walters: For shooting my penis off? Don't sweat it. They gave me a vagina. Hey, guess what. I'm Eric's bitch!
Eric: No, you're not!
Mr. Walters: Yes, I am! You own this ass.

American guest: Do you actually know Oscar Wilde?
Gareth: Not personally no. But I do know someone who could get you his fax number. Shall we dance?

This is the part where you run away.

Shrek

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