Favorite Comedy Quotes
Anybody interested in grabbing a couple of burgers and hittin' the cemetery?Royal
Scarface: You said you gave Mary Jane a pearl necklace!
Thurgood Jenkins: Obviously you missed the whole point of that story.
I'm chill as a cucumber.Dale Denton
Neighbor: Hey Roy, can you get sick from drinking piss?
Roy: I think you can.
Neighbor: Even if its your own?
[after crashing into a car dealership] The new Oldsmobiles are in early this year!Elwood
Ishmael: Whatcha doin', Mr. Munson?
Ishmael: Flossin? Where the hell did I get "Munson"?
Roy: The name's Munson, what I'm doin' is flossin'.
Tito Puente's gonna be dead, and you're gonna say, "Oh, I've been listening to him for years, and I think he's fabulous."John Winger
Lloyd: What's the matter, Har? Some little filly break your heart?
Harry: No, it was a girl.
Allow myself to introduce... myself!Austin Powers
[the videotape of Shannon back-dooring Trica is playing on the big screen, with cheesy 70s porno music in background]
Shannon Hamilton: Yeah, who's your favourite New Kid. Yeah, call me Joey. Oh, come on. Don't make me get loose. Yeah, that's right. Call me Donnie. Oh, girl. Oh, please don't go girl.
Jay: Goddamn. This is one wacky game show.
Brodie: [to the cops] Hey! That girl's only 15!
[cops focus their attention on Shannon]
Shannon Hamilton: Ah, 15. I thought she was 36!
[cops are approaching him]
Shannon Hamilton: Come on, guys. Tell me you wouldn't have popped her.
Your society nods its head at any horror the American teenager can think to bring upon itself.J.D.
Sara: What's your name?
Chip: They call me Chip.
Sara: Aw, you can't get 'em to stop?