Favorite Comedy Quotes
Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you, unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.Shrek
Shrek: Donkey, think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you.
Donkey: Oh, man! Where do I begin? First there was the time the farmer traded me for some magic beans. I ain't never gotten over that. Then this fool went off and had a party, and they all starting trying to pin a tail on me. Then they all got drunk, and started hitting me with sticks, yelling "PiÃ±ata! PiÃ±ata!" What the hell is a piÃ±ata, anyway?
I'm gonna go upstairs and pay a visit to the shower fairy.Greg Focker
Greg Focker: You can milk just about anything with nipples.
Jack Byrnes: I have nipples, Greg, could you milk me?
Hey, what's the word Big Bird?Bucky Larson
Puss-in-Boots: Stop, ogre! I have misjudged you.
Shrek: Join the club. We got jackets.
Hey ump, get off your knees. You're blowing the game!Stephen King
Westley: Where am I?
The Albino: [raspy voice] The Pit of Despair! Don't even think... [coughs, clears throat] Don't even think about trying to escape. The chains are far too thick. Don't dream of being rescued, either; the only way in is secret. Only the Prince, the Count, and I know how to get in and out.
Westley: So I'm here 'til I die?
The Albino: Until they kill you, yeah.
All great artists suffer before they become famous. That lady wrote Harry Potter in a ditch.E.B.
[hears Westley scream] Do you hear that Fezzik? That is the sound of ultimate suffering. My heart made that sound when the six-fingered man killed my father. The Man in Black makes it now.Inigo Montoya
[in his dream] Please Joel, do what they say, just get off the babysitter.Joel's Mother