Favorite Comedy Quotes
Sometimes, when I get nervous, I stick my hands under my armpits and than I smell them like this!Mary Katherine Gallagher
Gangster: You got some big a** balls, man.
Noah: Can't find underwear. Balls don't fit.
I can't stop eating. I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's someone I'd like to get in touch with and forgive... myself.Fat Bastard
Walter Sobchak: Those rich fucks! This whole fucking thing... I did not watch my buddies die face down in the muck so that this fucking strumpet...
The Dude: I don't see any connection to Vietnam, Walter.
Walter Sobchak: Well, there isn't a literal connection, Dude.
The Dude: Walter, face it, there isn't any connection.
No, no, no don't just hork it down!Remy
Frank: It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.
Frank: No, the worst.
Who the fuck are the Knutsens?The Dude
Prince Humperdinck: I think your bluffing.
Westley: It's possible, Pig, I might be bluffing. It's conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again... perhaps I have the strength after all.
Todd Flanders: I wish Homer was my father.
Ned Flanders: ...and I wish you didn't have the devil's curly hair.
Shooter McGavin: Just stay out of my way or you'll pay, listen to what I say.
Happy Gilmore: Hey, why don't I just got and eat some hay. I can lay by the bay, make things out of clay, I just may, what'd ya say?
Charlotte Poughkeepsied in her pants.Carrie Bradshaw
Mini Me, stop humping the "laser." Honest to God! Why don't you and the giant "laser" get a fricken room for God's sakes?Dr. Evil