Favorite Comedy Quotes
My pa always said "Never trust a Hogwallop!"Pete
Delmar O'Donnell: We thought you was a toad!
Delmar O'Donnell: [leaning in, speaking slower] We thought you was a toad!
There's right and there's right and never the twain shall meet.H.I.
Edward Ferrars: Your friendship has been the most important of my life.
Elinor Dashwood: You will always have it.
Ian Miller: My parents' names are Rodney and Harriet.
Toula Portokalos: [horrified, looking at wedding invites] Rodney and HARRY!
Nick Portokalos: We didn't notice, so maybe they won't.
Ian Miller: How do you say "thank you" in Greek?
Nick: "OrÃ©a viziÃ¡."
Ian Miller: "OrÃ©a viziÃ¡." [English translation: "Nice boobs."]
Louis: Looking good, Billy Ray!
Billy Ray: Feeling good, Louis!
Raving psycho! Butchered 400 chickens and screwed a beagle. I'm taking him back to Nevada where he's wanted for banging horses!Mike
It's called reading! Top to bottom, left to right... a group of words together is called a sentence. Take Tylenol for any headaches... Midol for any cramps.Richard Hayden
El Guapo: Jefe, what is a plethora?
Jefe: Why, El Guapo?
El Guapo: Well, you just told me that I had a plethora, and I would just like to know if you know what it means to have a plethora. I would not like to think that someone would tell someone else he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has *no idea* what it means to have a plethora.
Jefe: El Guapo, I know that I, Jefe, do not have your superior intellect and education, but could it be that once again, you are angry at something else, and are looking to take it out on me?
Thurgood Jenkins: I be from Jamaica, mon. Lord have mercy.
Samson Simpson: What part of Jamaica?
Thurgood Jenkins: Right near da beach. Boy-eeee!
So, Lord Helmet, at last we meet again for the first time for the last time.Lone Starr