Favorite Comedy Quotes
Ich bin Bruno!BrÃ¼no
Wayne Campbell: She's a babe.
Garth Algar: She's magically babelicious.
Wayne Campbell: She tested very high on the stroke-ability scale.
Garth, marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.Wayne Campbell
Cockburn, from now on my fist is going to be so far up your shithole that every time you have a thought, it's gonna have to tiptoe past my wedding ring...Les Grossman
Yes, I think I'll have the mahi-mahi, but can I get it with just one mahi?Shelley
Stifler's Mom: I got some scotch.
Finch: Single malt?
Stifler's Mom: Aged 18 years. The way I like it.
I had an uncle called Terence once. Hated him. Think he was a pervert. But I very much like the look of you.Prime Minister
Sam: Wow. That's pretty damn random of you there, Andrew. Nice to meet you, can I use you?
Andrew Largeman: No.
Sam: It must be the Hollywood in you.
Thank you. That will be nice. Yes is being my answer. Easy question.Aurelia
Just remember, you shake it more than twice you're playing with it.Bathroom Attendant
[JB see's his father in the "faces" of the Gig-simulator's crowd] You're nothing but a mistake. I should have worn a condom.Jack's Father
Steven: Can I get a knife or fork?
Wench: There were no utensils in medieval times, hence there are no utensils AT Medieval Times. Would you like a refill on that Pepsi?
Steven: There were no utensils but there was Pepsi?
Wench: Dude, I got a lot of tables.