Favorite Comedy Quotes
And then one time I ate some rotten berries. Man, there were some strong gases seepin' outta my butt that day!Donkey
Garth, marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.Wayne Campbell
Semmi: But where in New York can one find a woman with grace, elegance, taste and culture? A woman suitable for a king.
Prince Akeem, Semmi: Queens!
Let's hear for my band, Sexual Chocolate.Randy Watson
Cockburn, from now on my fist is going to be so far up your shithole that every time you have a thought, it's gonna have to tiptoe past my wedding ring...Les Grossman
Stifler's Mom: I got some scotch.
Finch: Single malt?
Stifler's Mom: Aged 18 years. The way I like it.
I had an uncle called Terence once. Hated him. Think he was a pervert. But I very much like the look of you.Prime Minister
Thank you. That will be nice. Yes is being my answer. Easy question.Aurelia
Yes, I think I'll have the mahi-mahi, but can I get it with just one mahi?Shelley
Just remember, you shake it more than twice you're playing with it.Bathroom Attendant
[JB see's his father in the "faces" of the Gig-simulator's crowd] You're nothing but a mistake. I should have worn a condom.Jack's Father
Maybe there won't be marriage, maybe there won't be sex, but by God there'll be dancing!George Downes