Favorite Comedy Quotes
And this is the Buzz Lightyear aisle. Back in 1995, short-sighted retailers did not order enough dolls to meet demand.Barbie
You're not a god. You can take my word for it; this is 12 years of Catholic school talking.Rita
Allow myself to introduce... myself!Austin Powers
[to Mr. Potato Head] I'm packing your extra pair of shoes, and your angry eyes just in case.Mrs. Potato Head
Say, any of you boys smithies? Or, if not smithies per se, were you otherwise trained in the metallurgic arts before straitened circumstances forced you into a life of aimless wanderin'?Ulysses Everett McGill
Inigo Montoya: What?
Fezzik: I hope we win.
Hanging Lady: Nervous?
Ted Striker: Yes.
Hanging Lady: First time?
Ted Striker: No, I've been nervous lots of times.
Frank: Who would you rather bone, Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?
Billy Madison: Jack Nicholson now, or 1974?
Billy Madison: Meg Ryan.
I had an uncle called Terence once. Hated him. Think he was a pervert. But I very much like the look of you.Prime Minister
"Coquille St. Jacques." Death on a leaf!Hitch
In a world gone mad, we will not spank the monkey, but the monkey will spank us.Jay
I'm gonna kick your ass back to the Shire if you don't shut your fucking mouth.Hobbit Lover