Favorite Comedy Quotes
Oh, Shrek. Don't worry. Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.Donkey
I'm gonna finger-bang her tight little asshole / Finger-bang and tea-bag my balls / Where, where, in her mouth / Balls a-plenty in her mouth / Balls Balls Sweaty Balls!!!Jay
How you served five years under her, I don't know. You deserve a medal, or a holiday or at least a cuddle from somebody.Aldous Snow
Death is but a doorway, time is but a window, I'll be back.Vigo
Meaner dude: If I was in your shoes, I'd be...
Otter: Leaving! What a good idea.
Shut the front door.Amy Squirrel
The Dude: Hey, cool it Walter. Look, pal, there never was any money. The big Lebowski gave me an empty briefcase, so take it up with him, man.
Walter Sobchak: And, I would like my undies back.
[Stunned, the Germans confer amongst themselves again]
Donny: Are they gonna hurt us, Walter?
Walter Sobchak: No, Donny. These men are cowards.
Nihilist: Okay. So we take ze money you haf on you, und ve calls it eefen.
Walter Sobchak: Fuck you.
What are you gonna do with one shoelace? Floss your ass with it.Miles Logan
[to Mr. Potato Head] I'm packing your extra pair of shoes, and your angry eyes just in case.Mrs. Potato Head
Vincent Benedict: Through the lips, over the gums...
Julius Benedict: Look out stomach! Here it comes!
And this is the Buzz Lightyear aisle. Back in 1995, short-sighted retailers did not order enough dolls to meet demand.Barbie
That's my boy!Donny