Favorite Comedy Quotes
I AM THE C.L.I.T. COMMANDER! Remember that, commander of all C.L.I.T.s! When it comes down to business, this is what I do. I pinch it like this. OOH you little fuck. Then I rub my nose with it.Jay
Gas Station Employee: I'm picking up your sarcasm.
Richard Hayden: Well, I should hope so, because I'm laying it on pretty thick.
Alpa Chino: That's the theme song for the Jeffersons!
Kirk Lazarus: Just because it's a theme song doesn't make it any less true.
Rumack: Can you fly this plane, and land it?
Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
Rumack: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.
Connor: Do you know who I am?
Connor: Google me bitch! I might be famous one day.
That's a great plan, Walter. That's fuckin' ingenious, if I understand it correctly. It's a Swiss fuckin' watch.The Dude
Well, you should have seen the cover they WANTED to do! It wasn't a glove, believe me.Ian Faith
Donny: What the fuck is this?!
Spa worker: It's water infused with cucumber, rose petal and harvest sandalwood.
Donny: Tastes like fucking dick infused with balls.
Looks like the upper hand, is on the other foot!President Thomas 'Tug' Benson
I don't want FOP Damn it, I'm a Dapper Dan Man!Ulysses Everett McGill
Sir Alexander Dane: You're just going to have to figure out what it wants. What is its motivation?
Jason Nesmith: It's a rock monster. It doesn't have motivation.
Sir Alexander Dane: See, that's your problem, Jason. You were never serious about the craft.
Tickets? Since when did they start charging for the bus? Didn't we used to ride that shit to school every morning for free?Jay