Favorite Comedy Quotes
Who's the U-Boat Commander?Service Manager
[In the wedding]
Alan Garner: How's my hair?
Stu Price: That's good.
Alan Garner: It's cool like Phil's?
Stu Price: It's classic Phil.
Look man, Your can listen to Jimi but you can't hear him. There's a difference man. Just because your listening to him doesn't mean you're hearing him.Sidney Deane
Moral fiber. So, what is moral fiber? It's funny, I used to think it was always telling the truth, doing good deeds, basically being a fucking boy scout. But lately I've been seeing it differently. Now I think moral fiber's about finding that one thing you really care about. That one special thing that means more to you than anything else in the world. And when you find her, you fight for her. You risk it all, you put her in front of everything, your life, all of it. And maybe the stuff you do to help her isn't so clean. You know what? It doesn't matter. Because in your heart you know, that the juice is worth the squeeze. That's what moral fiber's all about.Matthew
Dory: No. No, you can't... STOP. Please don't go away. Please? No one's ever stuck with me for so long before. And if you leave... if you leave... I just, I remember things better with you. I do, look. P. Sherman, forty-two... forty-two... I remember it, I do. It's there, I know it is, because when I look at you, I can feel it. And-and I look at you, and I... and I'm home. Please... I don't want that to go away. I don't want to forget.
Marlin: I'm sorry, Dory. But I... do.
Charlotte Poughkeepsied in her pants.Carrie Bradshaw
Dude, on a scale from 1 to 10, 1 being not so extreme and 10 being extremely extreme, I give this a 9.5!Extreme Sports Punk #1
Chip Heron: Hey, how was school?
Betsy Heron: Were people nice?
Chip Heron: Did you make any friends?
I wish it were winter so we could freeze it into ice blocks and skate on it and melt it in the spring time and drink it!Barry Badrinath
Mini Me, stop humping the "laser." Honest to God! Why don't you and the giant "laser" get a fricken room for God's sakes?Dr. Evil
Scott Pilgrim: You know her?
Ramona V. Flowers: It was just a phase.
Scott Pilgrim: You had a sexy phase?
Ramona V. Flowers: I was just a litte bi-curious.
Roxy Richter: I'm just a little bi-furious!
Pastor Clever: [at Smokey] Excuse me brother, what we call drugs at the 74th Street Baptist Church we call the sin of sin sins.
Smokey: Well round here, between Normandie and Western, we call this here a little twenty twen twen...
Craig Jones: Right...
Pastor Clever: Give me a little for my cataracts.
Smokey: You didn't put in on this man.