Favorite Comedy Quotes
Pat Healy: What the hell is Brett Favre doing here?
Brett Favre: I'm in town to play the Dolphins, you dumbass.
I've never been traded for a washing machine before. Until now.Ed Monix
Patrick: Not a big talker, huh?
Kat Stratford: Depends on the topic. My fenders don't really whip me into a verbal frenzy.
I couldn't believe that she knew my name. Some of my best friends didn't know my name.Ted
Dee, when your allergies act up, take out your nose ring.Cher
She could be a farmer in those clothes.Amber
He's no goodfella, He's a BAD-fella!Barry B. Benson
People say, You must have been the class clown. And I say, No, I wasn't. But I sat next to the class clown, and I studied him.Dr. Pearl
We've got Armadillos in our trousers. It's really quite frightening.Nigel Tufnel
It's a Zen thing, like how many babies fit in a tire.Corky St. Clair
Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year. It's just not really widely reported.David St. Hubbins
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Well, dear, are you ready?
Inga: Yes, Doctor.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Elevate me.
Inga: Now? Right here?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Yes, yes, raise the platform.
Inga: Oh. Ze platform. Oh, zat, yah, yah... yes.