Favorite Comedy Quotes
Pat Healy: What the hell is Brett Favre doing here?
Brett Favre: I'm in town to play the Dolphins, you dumbass.
I've never been traded for a washing machine before. Until now.
Ed Monix
Patrick: Not a big talker, huh?
Kat Stratford: Depends on the topic. My fenders don't really whip me into a verbal frenzy.
I couldn't believe that she knew my name. Some of my best friends didn't know my name.
Ted
Dee, when your allergies act up, take out your nose ring.
Cher
She could be a farmer in those clothes.
Amber
He's no goodfella, He's a BAD-fella!
Barry B. Benson
People say, You must have been the class clown. And I say, No, I wasn't. But I sat next to the class clown, and I studied him.
Dr. Pearl
We've got Armadillos in our trousers. It's really quite frightening.
Nigel Tufnel
It's a Zen thing, like how many babies fit in a tire.
Corky St. Clair
Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year. It's just not really widely reported.
David St. Hubbins
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Well, dear, are you ready?
Inga: Yes, Doctor.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Elevate me.
Inga: Now? Right here?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Yes, yes, raise the platform.
Inga: Oh. Ze platform. Oh, zat, yah, yah... yes.
