You're the only boy who makes my heart beat faster and slower at the same time.


Let's turn on the juice and see what shakes loose.


Wayne Campbell: So, do you come to Milwaukee often?
Alice Cooper: Well, I'm a regular visitor here, but Milwaukee has certainly had its share of visitors. The French missionaries and explorers began visiting here in the late 16th century.
Pete: Hey, isn't "Milwaukee" an Indian name?
Alice Cooper: Yes, Pete, it is. In fact , it's pronounced "mill-e-wah-que" which is Algonquin for "the good land."
Wayne Campbell: I was not aware of that.

[Hal is going to make his move on some unattractive girls]
Hal: I'm going for the one in the middle. You can have your pick of the other two.
Mauricio: So you get the hyena, and I have to choose between the hippo and the giraffe?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Igor, would you give me a hand with the bags?
Igor: [doing a Groucho Marx] Certainly, you take the blonde and I'll take the one in the turban.

[heading towards an ox] I need to bite its hide... and wear its stomach like a unitard.

Jeff Portnoy

Amber: Ms. Stoeger, my plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.
Dionne: Well, there goes your social life.

So you see, my son, there is a very fine line between love and nausea.

King Jaffe Joffer

J.T.: Hey there, little Yankee boy. Look what I got.
Vinny Gambini: What is it?
J.T.: $200.
Vinny Gambini: Bring it here, let me see it.
[J.T. presents a roll of bills]
Vinny Gambini: How do I know that's not a bunch of ones with a twenty wrapped around it?
J.T.: [after short pause] It's two hundred bucks.
Vinny Gambini: Fan it out, show it to me.
[pause. J.T. stuffs the roll back in his pocket]
Vinny Gambini: Yeah, right.

Dr. Lewis Meldman: May I ask you a question doctor, and I don’t mean to be insensitive. But, does Dr. Pinchelow has Aspergers?
Lloyd Christmas: Probably, I know he doesn’t wipe very well.

Hell of a damn grave. Wish it were mine.


Carol: You're a regular J.D.
John Milner: File that under uh, C.S. over there.
[hands her the ticket Holstein just issued him]
Carol: C.S.? What's that stand for?
John Milner: Chicken shit - that's what it is.
Carol: Oh.
[puts the ticket in the glove compartment which is full of similar tickets]

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