Favorite Comedy Quotes
He's no goodfella, He's a BAD-fella!Barry B. Benson
I always tell the girls, never take it seriously, if ya never take it seriosuly, ya never get hurt, ya never get hurt, ya always have fun, and if you ever get lonely, just go to the record store and visit your friends.Penny Lane
Dr. Lewis Meldman: May I ask you a question doctor, and I don’t mean to be insensitive. But, does Dr. Pinchelow has Aspergers?
Lloyd Christmas: Probably, I know he doesn’t wipe very well.
Have... a good time... all the time.Viv Savage
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Igor, would you give me a hand with the bags?
Igor: [doing a Groucho Marx] Certainly, you take the blonde and I'll take the one in the turban.
Jesus saves, George Nelson withdraws!George Nelson
Let's turn on the juice and see what shakes loose.Beetlejuice
Buddy: We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.
Most of the time I'm just talking out of my ass - or sticking my hand in it.Brodie
[heading towards an ox] I need to bite its hide... and wear its stomach like a unitard.Jeff Portnoy
Emily: You like sugar, huh?
Buddy: Is there sugar in syrup?
Buddy: Then YES!
Amber: Ms. Stoeger, my plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.
Dionne: Well, there goes your social life.