Favorite Comedy Quotes
David St. Hubbins: He died in a bizarre gardening accident...
Nigel Tufnel: Authorities said... best leave it... unsolved.
In the name of the father, the son and the holy goat. Eh...GHOST!Father Gerald
[to Germans during a beer pong match] Loser takes a paddle up the ass.Todd Wolfhouse
Come on, Kate. It's time to put your mouth where our balls are.Peter La Fleur
Annie Savoy: Right, honey, let's get down to it. How was Ebby Calvin LaLoosh?
Millie: Well, he fucks like he pitches - sorta all over the place.
Harry Burns: You take someone to the airport, its clearly the beginning of the relationship. That's why I have never taken anyone to the airport at the beginning of a relationship.
Sally Albright: Why?
Harry Burns: Because eventually things move on and you don't take someone to the airport and I never wanted anyone to say to me, How come you never take me to the airport anymore?
Sally Albright: Its amazing. You look like a normal person but actually you are the angel of death.
What the? Oh Richard you're a riot. Stop the car. Son of a. What the hell's gotten into you? My thing got stuck in my zipper and I got piss all over my pants!Tommy
Of course. How sssselfish of me. Let's do all the things that YOU wanna do.Ace
You know what my favorite Helen Hunt movie is?Fat Bastard
[twists his opponent's balls] TWISTER!
Earl. Here's some swiss cheese and some bullets.Walter Chang
By Grabthar's hammer, by the sons of Worvan, you shall be avenged.Sir Alexander Dane
Ishmael: Whatcha doin', Mr. Munson?
Ishmael: Flossin? Where the hell did I get "Munson"?
Roy: The name's Munson, what I'm doin' is flossin'.