Favorite Comedy Quotes
Hey Satan, I got some new luggage for our trip up to Earth. Let's fuck to celebrate.Saddam Hussein
Frank: Who would you rather bone, Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?
Billy Madison: Jack Nicholson now, or 1974?
Billy Madison: Meg Ryan.
Stan: Hey, guys. Do you know where I can find the clitoris?
Kyle: The what?
Cartman: What, is that like finding Jesus or something?
Matthew: I know.
Matthew: I know.
You are all just a bunch of ass-ramming uncle fuckers!Kyle
Sister EncarnaciÃ³n: Wrestling is ungodly Ignacio. People cheer for him... and he is a false idol.
Peter Gibbons: So you guys are gonna fire Mike and Samir, and you're gonna give *me* more money?
Bob Porter: [nods] Uh-huh.
Peter Gibbons: Wow.
I once saw him fart a plum... I was plum surprised.Steve "Fink" Finklestein
It's gonna be champagne wishes and caviar dreams from now on.Donkey
Donkey: I don't wanna die...! I don't wanna DIE! Oh sweet sister mother of mercy... I'm melting...! I'm MEEELTIIING!
Shrek: It's just the rain, Donkey.
Cotton McKnight: Do you believe in unlikelihoods? Average Joe's shocking the dodgeball world and upsetting Globo Gym in the championship match!
Pepper Brooks: Unbelievable!
Cotton McKnight: Ladies and gentlemen, I have been to the Great Wall of China, I have seen the Pyramids of Egypt, I've even witnessed a grown man satisfy a camel. But never in all my years as a sportscaster have I witnessed something as improbable, as impossible, as what we've witnessed here today!
Bradley Fine: Who's the finest of them all?
Susan Cooper: You are! Oh Bradley you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, hey Bradley!