Favorite Comedy Quotes
Ahoy polloi.Spalding Smails
Thurgood Jenkins: Yeah, get me a box of condoms, and, what was that thing we used to eat back in the day? What was it... oh yeah, pussy.
Kenny: You got it.
You guys gotta get me out of here! There's this guy Nasty Nate who wants my cocktail fruit, and everyone here likes fresh fish! Then The Squirrel Master came out of left field and told me I'm his bitch!Kenny
Neighbor: Hey Roy, can you get sick from drinking piss?
Roy: I think you can.
Neighbor: Even if its your own?
Yogurt! Yogurt! I hate Yogurt! Even with Strawberries.Dark Helmet
Um... a malt Glen Garry for me and my friend here. And if you tell that bartender to go extra easy on the water, this 50 cent piece has your name on it.Trent
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
Don't you say a fucking word.Tucker McElroy
Greta, please! I'm on my knees in a $900 suit.Fletcher
Womynist #1: Fine Sam. Why don't we forget about fighting the phalacracy for a while and go have a good time.
Droz: Frog And Toad Are Friends, that's with the guy from The Clash, right?
Gutter: [confused] The...
Droz: The Clash. I don't know if you're aware of this, Gutter, but there actually was music recorded before 1989.
"A Bridge Too Far." Caine and Hackman in the same movie. This is my thesis man! This is my closing argument! I CAN STOP WATCHING TV!Pigman