David St. Hubbins: He died in a bizarre gardening accident...
Nigel Tufnel: Authorities said... best leave it... unsolved.

In the name of the father, the son and the holy goat. Eh...GHOST!

Father Gerald

[to Germans during a beer pong match] Loser takes a paddle up the ass.

Todd Wolfhouse

Come on, Kate. It's time to put your mouth where our balls are.

Peter La Fleur

Annie Savoy: Right, honey, let's get down to it. How was Ebby Calvin LaLoosh?
Millie: Well, he fucks like he pitches - sorta all over the place.

Harry Burns: You take someone to the airport, its clearly the beginning of the relationship. That's why I have never taken anyone to the airport at the beginning of a relationship.
Sally Albright: Why?
Harry Burns: Because eventually things move on and you don't take someone to the airport and I never wanted anyone to say to me, How come you never take me to the airport anymore?
Sally Albright: Its amazing. You look like a normal person but actually you are the angel of death.

What the? Oh Richard you're a riot. Stop the car. Son of a. What the hell's gotten into you? My thing got stuck in my zipper and I got piss all over my pants!


Of course. How sssselfish of me. Let's do all the things that YOU wanna do.


You know what my favorite Helen Hunt movie is?
[twists his opponent's balls] TWISTER!

Fat Bastard

Earl. Here's some swiss cheese and some bullets.

Walter Chang

By Grabthar's hammer, by the sons of Worvan, you shall be avenged.

Sir Alexander Dane

Ishmael: Whatcha doin', Mr. Munson?
Roy: Flossin'.
Ishmael: Flossin? Where the hell did I get "Munson"?
Roy: The name's Munson, what I'm doin' is flossin'.

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