Favorite Comedy Quotes
You're going down like a sweet muffin!White Goodman
You bet your size 6 ass!Nigel
Cotton McKnight: Do you believe in unlikelihoods? Average Joe's shocking the dodgeball world and upsetting Globo Gym in the championship match!
Pepper Brooks: Unbelievable!
Cotton McKnight: Ladies and gentlemen, I have been to the Great Wall of China, I have seen the Pyramids of Egypt, I've even witnessed a grown man satisfy a camel. But never in all my years as a sportscaster have I witnessed something as improbable, as impossible, as what we've witnessed here today!
Here lies David St. Hubbins... and why not?David St. Hubbins
[trying to convince Shrek not to neuter him] Please, no, por favor, por favor, please no, I implore you. I was doing it for my family! My mother she's sick and my father he lives off the garbage. The king offered me much money and I have a little brother...Puss-in-Boots
[running ahead of giant gingerbread man] Run, run as fast as you can!Donkey
[to Alison] I'm sorry I'm sweating on you...Ben Stone
Ben Stone: Our baby is going to be French Canadian.
Alison Scott: And a little bit Spanish?
Ben Stone: Yeah, I'm not very good with impressions.
Have you ever watched pornographic videos?Jack Byrnes
Shrek and I drank this potion and now... we're sexy!Donkey
Don't you point those dirty, green sausages at me!Fairy Godmother
Jack Byrnes: If I set you up, do you think you can spike it, Focker?
Greg Focker: Well, I would have to get pretty high.
Jack Byrnes: I bet you would, Panama Red.