Favorite Comedy Quotes
You know what my favorite Helen Hunt movie is?Fat Bastard
[twists his opponent's balls] TWISTER!
It's so beautiful!... Let's live here. [he kisses Rita] We'll rent, to start.Phil
Porn Store Worker: We don't sell kiddie porn.
Bucky Larson: Oh, I'm allergic to cats.
I once saw him fart a plum... I was plum surprised.Steve "Fink" Finklestein
J.D.: [bringing a box of videos to Judith] Hey, I brought you some more videos. You've got your choice: porno's or monster trucks. Oh, and I got one that's both.
No. NO. NO! Devil man! Devil 6-6-6, the mark of the beast! No! Naughty! Naughty jungle of love!Kenny
Every lie is another brick in the pathway to hell.Mrs. Spinnler
Lynn Davies: I love how his eyes sparkle.
Elizabeth Halsey: I want to sit on his face.
Dewey Finn: Who are you babe? This is my apartment babe.
Patty Di Marco: Oh oh, not if you don't pay your rent, it's not.
Ted: I think I still want to look her up.
Pat Healy: Who, rollerpig? Are you nuts?
Ted: You said she was a real sparkplug.
Pat Healy: No, I said buttplug. She's heinous.
Lacey Underall: You're crazy!
Ty Webb: That's what they said about Son of Sam.
What do you want, 'Non-Rocker'? This line is reserved for 'Rockers Only', so I can't really talk to you right now!JB