Favorite Comedy Quotes
Ed: Big Al says so.
Shaun: Yeah, but Big Al says dogs can't look up!
Allison Reynolds: When you grow up, your heart dies.
Bender: Who cares?
Allison Reynolds: I care.
The name's so good you gotta say it twice.Moto Moto
I've been leaving a breadcrumb trail of gayness.Eminem
Hey Stan, you're in Ala-Fuckin-Bama. You come from New York. You killed a good old boy. There is no way this is not going to trial.Vinny Gambini
Sally Albright: You know, I'm so glad I never got involved with you. I just would have ended up being some woman you had to get up out of bed and leave at 3:00 in the morning and go clean your andirons, and you don't even have a fireplace, not that I would know this.
Dr. Evil: Okay, here's the plan. We get the warhead and then hold the world ransom for... 1 MILLION dollars!
Number Two: Sir, strictly speaking, a million dollars will not go very far these days. Virtucon alone makes over 9 billion dollars a year.
Dr. Evil: Really? Okay then... we hold the world ransom for one... hundred... BILLION dollars!!!
Bender: You load up, you party?
Brian Johnson: Uhh, no, actually, we dress up.
[to Germans during a beer pong match] Loser takes a paddle up the ass.Todd Wolfhouse
SaulSilver: You still got that bong I got you when I was in Tel Aviv?
Red: Hell yeah, Bong Mitzvah! Hit it up, dude!
Silent Bob here's an electrical genius. He won the science fair in eighth grade by turning his mom's vibrator into a CD player using some chicken wire and shit.The mother fucker's like MacGyver. No, the mother fucker's *better than* MacGyver.Jay
[narration] My family is big and loud but they're my family. We fight and we laugh and yes, we roast lamb on a spit in the front yard. And where ever I go, what ever I do they will always be there.Toula Portokalos