Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: I don't hit no man first.
Crash Davis: All right, then...
[throws him a baseball]
Crash Davis: ... hit me in the chest with that.
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: I'd kill you!
Crash Davis: Yeah? From what I hear, you couldn't hit water if you fell out of a fucking boat.

Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: You told him didn't you?
Crash Davis: Yup.

You made a woman meow?

Jess

Jess: Marriages don't break up on account of infidelity. It's just a symptom that something else is wrong.
Harry Burns: Oh really? Well, that "symptom" is fucking my wife.

You scratched my CD! You picked it up in pure daylight and you scratched it!

Billy

Why's he calling me meat? I'm the one driving a Porsche.

Ebby Calvin LaLoosh

I think you're shagedelic baby! You're switched on! You're smashing! You're shagadelic, baby!

Austin Powers

Austin Powers: Hey! There you are!
Tourist: Hi... do I know you?
Austin Powers: No, but that's where you are! You're there!

Vinny Gambini: Ms. Vito, it has been argued by me, the defense, that two sets of guys met up at the Sac-O-Suds, at the same time, driving identical metallic mint green 1964 Buick Skylark convertibles. Now, can you tell us by what you see in this picture, if the defense's case holds water?
[Lisa examines the picture]
Vinny Gambini: Ms. Vito, please answer the question: does the defense's case hold water?
Mona Lisa Vito: No! The defense is wrong!
Vinny Gambini: Are you sure?
Mona Lisa Vito: I'm positive.

Vanessa Kensington: That's you in a nutshell.
Austin Powers: No, this is me in a nutshell: "Help! I'm in a nutshell! How did I get into this bloody great big nutshell? What kind of shell has a nut like this?"

Austin: Those are skin tight. How do you get into those pants baby?
Felicity Shagwell: You can start by buying me a drink.

Pinto: I won't go schizo, will I?
Jennings: It's a distinct possibility.

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