Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck dick for coke. Now that's an addiction. You ever suck some dick for marijuana?

Cocaine Addict

RHETORICAL QUESTION WOODCOCK!

John Farley

Curtis: Do you guys know 'Minnie the Moocher'?
Murph: I once knew a hooker named Minnie Mazola!

Mike Dexter: Trip McNeely! Geez. You were a sexual icon! You know girls at Huntington still talk about you?
Trip McNeely: Really? Which ones?
Mike Dexter: You must be racking up at college. College!
Trip McNeely: I wish, bro. I can't even get digits as a freshman.
Mike Dexter: Shut up! Come on, you can tell me.
Trip McNeely: Seriously, man. I thought college was gonna be a 24-7 orgy. Hell, that's why I broke up with Janeen before I left.
Mike Dexter: [pauses] S-s-so, what happened?
Trip McNeely: [sighs] College chicks are totally different, bro. They're serious and shit. They all talk about world issues and "ecolomological" crap. And they wanna date older guys.

Don't you say a fucking word.

Tucker McElroy

So, Lord Helmet, at last we meet again for the first time for the last time.

Lone Starr

You take yourself out of the game, you start talking about puppy dogs and ice cream and of course it's going to end up on the friendship tip.

Trent

Yogurt! Yogurt! I hate Yogurt! Even with Strawberries.

Dark Helmet

Grace: I've got a very rare blood type. I'm AB positive.
Bruce: Well I'm IB positive. I be positive they ain't touching me with no needle.

Take that, you freaky piece of shit. You don't mow another guy's lawn.

Roy

I'll have you know that I have the reflexes of a cat and the speed of a mongoose. Throw it. I DARE YOU!

Ace

Jake: The band... the band...
Reverend Cleophus James: DO YOU SEE THE LIGHT?
Jake: THE BAND!
Reverend Cleophus James: DO YOU SEE THE LIGHT?
Elwood: What light?
Reverend Cleophus James: HAVE YOU SEEN THE LIGHT?
Jake: YES! YES! JESUS H. TAP-DANCING CHRIST... I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT!

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