Favorite Comedy Quotes
Okay, guys, I know I sold y'all out, and I've been a real son of a bitch, and a shitty friend. Saul, I'm talking to you. Dale, you're a new friend, but, uh, I can make it up, okay? I forgot "bros before hos."Red
I woke up in a great mood; I don't know what the hell happened.Mike Damone
Elias: If he's gonna jerk off, I'm gonna jerk off, too
Randal Graves: I don't think he's gonna jerk off.
"Brothers don't shake. Brothers gotta HUG!!"Tommy
Ahoy polloi.Spalding Smails
You are Yuri the trainer who trains.Inspector Jacques Clouseau
"A Bridge Too Far." Caine and Hackman in the same movie. This is my thesis man! This is my closing argument! I CAN STOP WATCHING TV!Pigman
There's right and there's right and never the twain shall meet.H.I.
Good heavens. Are you still trying to win?Count Rugen
One more word and I'll hide your stash.Cam Wexler
Driver: What's your problem, Schmuck!
Fletcher: I'm an inconsiderate prick!
I feel like the floor of a taxi cab.Dr. Egon Spengler