Favorite Comedy Quotes
Ben: You can have a lucky day, sure, but you can't have a lucky career. It's a little like math. It's orderly. Win or lose, it's fair. It all adds up. It's, like, not as confusing or as ambiguous as, uh...
Lindsey Meeks: Life?
Ben: Yeah. It's... it's safe.
Ben: You know what's really great about baseball?
Lindsey Meeks: Hmm?
Ben: You can't fake it. You know, anything else in life you don't have to be great in. Business, music, art. I mean you can get lucky.
Lindsey Meeks: Really?
Ben: Yeah, you can fool everyone for awhile, you know? It's like... not... not baseball. You either hit a curveball or you can't. That's the way it works.
[to his friends on megaphone] Quick break, everybody. There's some nice Pakistani cold cuts there, courtesy of Mrs. Segal.Ben
...you do this thing... it's so cute I wanna kill myself.Ben
At what point do you say to yourself, "I'm counting on you to be the one, and I have no fall back plan."Lindsey Meeks
[helping sick Lindsay into pajamas] I won't look, I promise. Okay, I looked.Ben
Ben: This is odd, it never happened before.
Al: You're havin' a stroke. Good!
Lindsey Meeks: Wow, you have quite a little group here.
Ben: Well, it's my summer family.
Captain O'Hagan: Well, this burger thing with Farva's really screwed our pooch.
Thorny: What? They can't lump us in with that fuckin' martian!
Peter Gibbons: Lawrence, you awake?
Peter Gibbons: You wanna come over?
Lawrence: No, thanks, man. Don't want you fucking up my life, too.
Ben: You're gonna get arrested!
Lindsey Meeks: You can't sell your tickets!
Ben: That's why you ran across the whole field? Wait, you've gotta tell me... was it spongy?
Lindsey Meeks: I'm going to Paris, and I'm taking vous!
Lindsey Meeks: Oui!