Topper Harley: Those are some long legs...
Ramada Thompson: I just had them lengthened. Now they go all the way up.

Topper Harley: So... I guess you've been with a man before...
Ramada Thompson: I'm a virgin. I'm just not very good at it.

Buddy: Well, if you're Santa, what song did I sing for you on your birthday this year?
Gimbel's Santa: Um, Happy Birthday of course. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. How old are you son?
Kid with Santa: Four.
Gimbel's Santa: You're a big boy. What's your name?
Kid with Santa: Paul.
Gimbel's Santa: Now what can I get you for Christmas?
Buddy: Don't tell him what you want, he's a liar.

You risked the lives of some damn fine pilots... and that's my job!

Admiral Benson

Topper Harley: I've fallen for you like a blind roofer.
Ramada Thompson: I'm sorry?
Topper Harley: My heart is falling down around my ankles like a wet pair of pants. My whole life, all I've wanted to do is fly. Bomb stuff. Shoot people down.

Miles Finch: [pitching ideas] No tomatoes. Too vulnerable. Kids, they're already vulnerable.
Walter: See, I told you guys. I told them the same thing...
Miles Finch: And no farms. Everyone's pushing small town rural. A farm book would just be white noise.

That's called the quart of blood technique... you do that and a quart of blood will come out a guy

Billy Ray Valentine

And so he says, "Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!"

Mike

It's okay. He's just admiring the shape of your skull.

Dr. Gonzo

Louis: Looking good, Billy Ray!
Billy Ray: Feeling good, Louis!

Dialect Instructor: I would like to buy a hamburger.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I would like to buy a "damburgen".
Dialect Instructor: I would like to buy a ham-bur-ger.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I would like to buy a "damburgen".
Dialect Instructor: I would like to buy a hamburger!
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I would like to buy a "damburgen"!

Phil: A gust of wind.
[a gust of wind blows]
Phil: A dog barks.
[a dog barks in the distance]
Phil: Cue the truck.
[an armored truck drives up]
Phil: Exit Herman; walk out into the bank.
[Herman gets out of armored truck and walks into the bank]

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