Favorite Comedy Quotes
Rasputia: What... the...? What just fell on my car?
Mr. Wong: Not what - who! Who just fell on your car? Ching chong ching chong!
Rasputia: [after Norbit discovers Buster and Rasputia in bed] Norbit, how dare you? Buster is a guest in our home!
Buster: Yeah, ORBIT! How dare you make such an accu-sa-si-tion!
It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!Gingerbread Man
I'm a real boy!Pinocchio
[after drinking a beauty potion]
Donkey: I don't *feel* any different. Do I look any different?
Puss-in-Boots: You still look like an ass to me!
Hey, boss. Let's shave him.Puss-in-Boots
Oh, Shrek. Don't worry. Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.Donkey
The kingdom of FAR FAR Away, Donkey? That's where we're going! FAR! FAR!... away.Shrek
[pounding steering wheel] Mother... shitter... Son of an... ass. I just...Samir
Dom Portwood: So um, Milton has been let go?
Bob Slydell: Well just a second there, professor. We uh, we fixed the *glitch*. So he won't be receiving a paycheck anymore, so it will just work itself out naturally.
Bob Porter: We always like to avoid confrontation, whenever possible. Problem solved from your end.
[reciting] I am a nice shark, not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this image, I must first change myself. Fish are friends, not food.Sharks
Ben: You can have a lucky day, sure, but you can't have a lucky career. It's a little like math. It's orderly. Win or lose, it's fair. It all adds up. It's, like, not as confusing or as ambiguous as, uh...
Lindsey Meeks: Life?
Ben: Yeah. It's... it's safe.