This place is dead anyways.


Patches O'Houlihan: If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
Justin: What?

Guy Fleegman: Hey guys, there's a red-thingy moving toward the green-thingy.
Jason Nesmith: What?
Guy Fleegman: Red-thingy moving toward the green-thingy. I think we're the green-thingy.

You scurvy shiester bastard. I'm a doctor of journalism man! Get in there and clean your shorts! Clean your shorts goddammit like a big boy!

Raoul Duke

Oh, the anger sharks are swimming in my head!


People say, You must have been the class clown. And I say, No, I wasn't. But I sat next to the class clown, and I studied him.

Dr. Pearl

Death is but a doorway, time is but a window, I'll be back.


Chon Wang: See! I told you so!
Roy O'Bannon: No, you said "wet shirt don't break," not "piss shirt bend bar"!

It is of no consequence to me.

King Jaffe Joffer

The pen is blue, the pen is blue, the goddamn pen is blue!


It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!

Gingerbread Man

You know my girlfriend is dead. She fell off a cliff and died on impact.

Happy Gilmore

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