Favorite Comedy Quotes
Rasputia: [after Norbit discovers Buster and Rasputia in bed] Norbit, how dare you? Buster is a guest in our home!
Buster: Yeah, ORBIT! How dare you make such an accu-sa-si-tion!
It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!Gingerbread Man
I'm a real boy!Pinocchio
[after drinking a beauty potion]
Donkey: I don't *feel* any different. Do I look any different?
Puss-in-Boots: You still look like an ass to me!
Oh, Shrek. Don't worry. Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.Donkey
Puss-in-Boots: Stop, ogre! I have misjudged you.
Shrek: Join the club. We got jackets.
...and it was like wicked dark down there. How's it going Bob?...Lobster
The kingdom of FAR FAR Away, Donkey? That's where we're going! FAR! FAR!... away.Shrek
[pounding steering wheel] Mother... shitter... Son of an... ass. I just...Samir
Dom Portwood: So um, Milton has been let go?
Bob Slydell: Well just a second there, professor. We uh, we fixed the *glitch*. So he won't be receiving a paycheck anymore, so it will just work itself out naturally.
Bob Porter: We always like to avoid confrontation, whenever possible. Problem solved from your end.
Ben: You can have a lucky day, sure, but you can't have a lucky career. It's a little like math. It's orderly. Win or lose, it's fair. It all adds up. It's, like, not as confusing or as ambiguous as, uh...
Lindsey Meeks: Life?
Ben: Yeah. It's... it's safe.
Ben: You know what's really great about baseball?
Lindsey Meeks: Hmm?
Ben: You can't fake it. You know, anything else in life you don't have to be great in. Business, music, art. I mean you can get lucky.
Lindsey Meeks: Really?
Ben: Yeah, you can fool everyone for awhile, you know? It's like... not... not baseball. You either hit a curveball or you can't. That's the way it works.