Favorite Comedy Quotes
Peter Gibbons: Lawrence, you awake?
Peter Gibbons: You wanna come over?
Lawrence: No, thanks, man. Don't want you fucking up my life, too.
Ben: You're gonna get arrested!
Lindsey Meeks: You can't sell your tickets!
Ben: That's why you ran across the whole field? Wait, you've gotta tell me... was it spongy?
Lindsey Meeks: I'm going to Paris, and I'm taking vous!
Lindsey Meeks: Oui!
Lindsey Meeks: You don't see us tangled up in the sheets with the Eiffel Tower in the background. You see the Mariners are coming in, and Pedro's pitching Friday.
Ben: No, on Saturday. Schilling's Friday.
Robin: He's offering Ben $125,000 for his Red Sox tickets.
Sarah: Are you really that rich?
Sarah: Then why don't you dress better?
That's not Yankee dancing - that's Devil Rays dancin'!Ben
Lindsey Meeks: I saw you on ESPN.
Ben: Yeah, we looked like morons, didn't we?
Lindsey Meeks: Yah, yah, totally. Well, not you so much.
Ben: Well, it was Florida. It was hot.
Reporter: Where do the Sox rank in terms of importance in your life?
Ben: I say the Red Sox... sex... and breathing!
If you love me enough to sell your tickets, I love you enough not to let you.Lindsey Meeks
Westley: Where am I?
The Albino: [raspy voice] The Pit of Despair! Don't even think... [coughs, clears throat] Don't even think about trying to escape. The chains are far too thick. Don't dream of being rescued, either; the only way in is secret. Only the Prince, the Count, and I know how to get in and out.
Westley: So I'm here 'til I die?
The Albino: Until they kill you, yeah.
Ben: You forgot my last name, didn't you?
Lindsey Meeks: No, I just... blanked.
Ben: No, I bet when you talk to your friends you call me Ben the School Teacher.
Lindsey Meeks: So you don't have a cell phone, a pager, a blackberry nothing? What if some sudden crisis occurs like your father has a heart attack or something?
Ben: My father died two years ago.
Lindsey Meeks: Oh, I'm sorry.
Ben: No, actually I just found out this morning so it's been a rough 24 hours. You know, maybe I should get a cell phone.
Lindsey Meeks: [laughs] You're funny, Ben...